As it IS. A journal by Adwait D

Bad, Bad.

2010-07-22T22:47:00.002+05:30

I got hate in my heart, a corpse in the dark, revenge on my mind, 7 years in the grind,
I'm ready to kill, I'm ready to heal, a knife and a gun, my time has finally come.
As victims fall to their knees, I feel a cold breeze,
And as I get bolder, colder, I think I'm finally free.
I rip off your chest, pull out your heart, and take a bite while it's still beating,
but I put it back in after I'm done, coz stealing is just cheating.
As you unwind in the club and dance to the beats,
I'm getting locked down for life, selling bags on the streets.
The government took away everything I ever had,
So I'm gonna be thug, steal, and buy a stereo for dad.
I'm not musically inclined, I just say what's on my mind,
it's usually sick, when murder is played and rewind.
Fuck you, I would win every episode of fear factor,
and I never flunked school, although i skipped every chapter.
Streets are better teachers, drug dealers are the best counselors,
classes made up of pimps, prostitutes and strip club dancers.
A cat needs a ball of wool, and a dog needs a stick,
But all I ever needed was some smack for my kicks.
This verse is going nowhere, so I better stop it,
Just like your penis and u know u need to chop it.

Damn, I'm good!

Rabid Foaming Dogs

2010-06-22T11:35:00.004+05:30

The operation won’t take long and you’ll feel much better in the morning.

There has been a slaughter here, so many of us are dead,
A lizard glides through the corpses, the couple was newly wed.
I cannot bear to live alone, and dine by myself,
Clean my single dish every night, and shuttle across life and death.

No one keeps me company; they all throw me out,
Out of their houses, out of their hearts, and none can hear me wallow.
Night after night I lay awake, covered with very my own blood.
The blood that the bugs rejected, and the blood that they cannot swallow.

The silence of the four walls pounds my brain, beating it to pulp,
The five senses are instruments of torture, and that helps me gulp.
And what's worse is that the trip is lonely too.
My dreams are just as bad as real life, so that makes it two.

I beg the solitary reaper to slice my throat and be done,
But she says she doesn't have the time, and that she won't come.
Hotel rooms are a nice place to die, you can ask the joker,
All you need are some sleeping pills and perhaps a choker.

In Plant Training. (Rape)

2010-05-18T21:52:00.003+05:30

While describing my life at the "In Plant Training" in Tarapur, only one word comes to my mind, - HELL. Or it could be worse, cause I haven't been to hell ever.

My life here basically consists of slaving it out at the factory from 9 - 7 through the day, and although the official timing is from 9 - 5, the watchman doesn't let me out until 7. Nor do my supervisors (fondly called masters by everyone beneath them). This is the "slave on a plantation" part of my life.

After that I come "HOME" to a nylon mattress (the only piece of furniture in the house). From 7 - 11 at night, I try washing my clothes without a washing machine, using only Tide and a brush. Each piece of clothing takes 30 min to brush, and jeans sometimes take 45. After that I try to make dinner and give up, cause there is nothing to cook with (that includes no food material and no cooking utensils). This is the "housemaid" part of my life.

I have two roommates, both of whom are Oriya. I have nothing against the Oriya people who inhabit my country, except for the fact that I wouldn't give a damn ( be extremely happy rather) if they were exterminated from the face of the earth tomorrow. One of them is called Mr. Behra and the other one Mr. Sahu. Both of them don't speak English, or Hindi, or Marathi, or any other language I remotely understand. In fact, what they speak cannot be even called a language. They do however manage to magically cook some Rice and Daal (or something that resembles that kind of food). It has no taste whatsoever. We eat that for breakfast, lunch and dinner, and because we can't get too much of it, sometimes between meals also.

All my life I have been eating Rice and Daal at home, but I have never encountered as little as a tiny granule of stone in my Rice. The rice here seemed to be giving birth to boulders inside my mouth, which i politely take out with my fingers and throw out of the window. But the sons of bitches lacked even this common courtesy. Let me describe a common incident that takes place here during meals.

Mr. Behra is busy gobbling up his rice like its caviar on black bread with champagne.
He encounters a huge boulder in his mouth.
He spits it out.
It lands on my side of the plate. (We have only one plate between the 3 of us.)

Me: Dude, What the Fuck dude! U spit in my plate.
Behra: It's our plate, remember? djdcsdc edefecelclllcecaacdedxaxmmeeca......
dffrwvfoeoopdqd..... (native fuckin oriya)
(continues eating and spitting)

Not exactly the vibe you get dining at the Trident on Sunday afternoons. (Unless there are terrorists, but even that might not be this painful.)

After dinner (haha joke), I try sleeping on my nylon mattress. But as there is no electricity here ever, it gets really hot. This the the "Ginger bread man" part of my life.

So if you think your life sucks, just re read what you just read.
And even if you dream about how your life sucks, wake up and apologize immediately.

Weekend Blues!

2010-04-11T20:30:00.002+05:30

Its time you realized,
What you say is a big ball of shit,
I've had enough of your lies,
So its time to smoke on my cannabis.

C'mon Baby, lets get higher!
C'mon Baby, lets get higher!

And I wouldn't mind getting high,
I've spent the entire day with you,
So now I leave you with a sigh,
Glad that the day is through.

C'mon Baby, lets get higher!
C'mon Baby, lets get higher!

And I won't have to see you again,
Until Monday coz the weekend's here,
I hope you understand my pain,
I spent the week in reverse gear.

C'mon Baby, lets get higher!
C'mon Baby, lets get higher!

You can change the way you live your life,
Open your mind for a different view,
Cut your Mind open with a knife,
Let it fly and learn something new.

C'mon Baby, lets get higher!
C'mon Baby, lets get higher!
C'mon Baby, lets get higheeeeeeeeeeeeeer!

Addicted

2010-03-07T22:26:00.003+05:30

As I smoke on my cannabis, I realize I'm on maximum brain damage,
And when I'm through the "Can of Bliss", my mind I cannot manage,
Cancer sticks got me hooked, and my hands shook,
the day we ran out of ciggy's that Stan took.

Every moment I'm awake I'm on a tight rope walking,
And every time I fall off, the voice inside me stops talking,
And a moment of defeat lingers on and I'm rattled,
And i get my daily dose of war coz addiction is an everyday battle.

How did it all start?, I'll tell you how,
Because I was all alone, and I could get no love,
And love is the answer they say, so why was I deprived,
It was so lonely, so now you know how I survived.

Happy people with perfect lives,
Beautiful people with plastic smiles,
getting what they wanted seemed so easy,
All they needed were borrowed lines,
And it all seemed so cheesy.

But I was wrong, coz "no tickey no laundry",
And when I can be me, then I can be free,
And the best you can do is to be you,
As I quote the greats, what I say is just not new.

So show me some love people, please help me change,
Give me another chance, pull me out of the dope game,
the wounds are fresh, and all I can see is red,
Should Quit while I'm ahead and not when I'm dead.

Its the K...

2010-02-02T22:28:00.005+05:30

It's been a long time!
I shouldn't have left you...

The most awaited - anticipated - imitated - rap artist - was created,
On march the 16th, when i was born, and the world was elated,
I spit fire, as soon as i got butt-slapped,
my 1st track, dissed the doc and the nurse who wrapped,
me in a towel and she was zapped - and clapped - at
the enormity of my jewels that got her in the sack.
At present, a girl calls me a M.C.P., but it's cool, (true)
coz i peddled the Roc, when she pedaled her bike to school.
for me books were tools, to smuggle dope into schools,
with a hole in them, where ya put your ganja at,
gateway drugs are a myth, ganja is herb for the soul - cats.
Police set lethal traps, but I always kept my bags packed,
and slipped through the gaps of the ghetto, and the ghetto has no maps.
But now i sell dope through my rhymes, that are just as addictive,
Nourishment for your brain, my imagery and visions make you submissive.
A lyrical terrorist, I blow you up, just to get you elevated,
And am elevated myself, in the process that rids the hatred.
And then I'm filled with love, and I begin to think,
Lyrics flow through me, naturally, And for that time I'm RAKIM.

They fear him, And now they can't hate Him,
coz after all the drama, Kaka slayed them.

Working on the Title...

2010-01-12T22:32:00.004+05:30

A pen and a paper, a stereo, a tape -ah,
and with these tools i paint a landscape -ah,
the rivers flow with the flow of my rhyme,
So sit back and relax as I take you back in time.
Summer was in and school was out,
Gin and juice time, as they all looked about,
And yelled, "Kaka, where ya at?",
like my name is a natural aphrodisiac.
I took out my car, got done some waxing,
No plans for the day, just chillin and relaxing,
Pop in a cd, and let Biggie Smalls play - full blast,
And reminisce of the girls and the summers in the past.
I go to the disco and the dance-floor's empty,
and so now I realize why He sent me.
When I'm done, its suddenly cool to dance,
I leave the crowds hypnotized and tranced.
Its 6pm, time for the summertime hangout,
all your friends are there, and without a doubt,
guys hunting for girls and the girls doing likewise,
I think I like the girl with those blue eyes.
I go up to her, and ask her out for a date,
(she says yes), "Hello mom, I think I'm gonna be late."
Thank God, its the summertime,
time to relax and time to unwind.

Hard work never killed anyone, but why should I risk it?
And If it isn't broke, why should I fix it?

Yes i did it. Finally something with no profanity.
It's a good, clean poem.
(Sense of achievement passes through me like electricity)

Hope u Digg it...

What is What...

2010-01-10T21:08:00.003+05:30

What is life?

A pair of 2 beautiful jugs, and a hot ass. Thats all, thats it!

What are friends?

Friends are people who roll joints for you, or help you score some decent maal, and are always ready to light up whenever u feel a little down.
The others are just lame high schoolish punks who refuse to grow up. But they are just as good.

What are girls?

Popularly called Chamiya, Chammakchallo, item, Maal, in most circles, girls are objects.
Everyday objects, just like toothbrushes and paste, which you rub over your teeth in the morning. Just like trains, which you ride everyday on your way to work/college. Some of them might even be like lectures, nagging us all day, and making us wish we were never born. Or a sip of the afternoon chai, or the puff of a ciggy, gone in an instant, but make u feel good for a while. Or maybe a chilled beer after an honest day's work.

All these objects, and many more rolled into one, make up a woman. But in finality, a woman is always an object, always has been, and always will be. Amen!

What is sex?

Cant say, never had it before. But it's definitely not porn. (Or is it?)

Shit, my blog's female fan following must totally suck!

Ladies, I apologize on behalf of my gender, but we are like that only.

P.S. - Miss CS, I forgive you.

What is freedom?

2009-12-27T23:03:00.001+05:30

The peaceful acceptance of reality,
the absence of tyrannical brutality,
understanding the metaphysics of quality,
the Malleability of my mentality.

That is freedom.

Its "Israel" for the Jews,
its the ability to choose,
and to have nothing to lose,
A corpse hanging from the noose.

That is freedom.

To say what you want to say,
to pray the way you want to pray,
holidays in the month of may,
for kids, when its time to play.

That is freedom.

3 square meals every day,
A sailing ship in the bay,
Demons of doubts in our mind we slay,
And through the deserts we find our way.

That is freedom.

Harmony of the beast and man,
And morality, and the beast in man,
And of perception and thinking says Kant,
And What I have is what I want.

That is freedom.

Things That Don't Exist...

2009-12-23T18:54:00.002+05:30

A woman with good looks who cooks and cleans,
A fat, bald guy who dreams of being on a team,
Golfers sticking to one hole all their lives,
And Tiger had to part with half his fortune,
Just to get a divorce from his wife.

A nun who never stuffed a candle up her cunt,
A man taking his wife shopping,
Just because he thinks its fun.
A pope who never had a wild sex fantasy,
There is no escaping Mother Nature, can't ya see?

Boys who like girls for who they are,
Gloomy bars, And a girl who can drive a car,
A wife who never screamed at her husband and kids,
A college grad who never saw a porno vid.
But who am I to blow the lid?

Open your eyes, to realize, that all you ever heard or saw were lies,
In a matrix, where ignorance's bliss, there are lows and there are highs.
And though I'm a pot addict, and my mind's slightly twisted,
I can tell the truth from lies, and the things that never existed.

I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me... but it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst...

...and then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life.

Who Am I?

2009-12-03T21:51:00.003+05:30

I am the opposite of who I am.

I'm black and white, the Yin and the Yang.
I am the pyramids of Egypt and castles made of sand.
You think I can't, but I think I can,
And then you try to convince me to change my plans.

I'm Puff Daddy and I'm Jane Fonda,
I'm a Harley and a Hero Honda.
I am the oceans and I am the coast,
I'm the Father, Son and the Holy Ghost.

I'm Hitler and Gandhi rolled into one,
I am the Buddha and I am the Gun.
I am the Dark and I am the Bright,
I am the wind and I am the kite.

I am Courage and I am Fear,
I am the tongue, the mouth and the ear.
I am all that is good and all that is bad,
What makes you happy, makes me sad.

I am Kind and I am cruel,
My mind and body is in a constant duel.
I am human and I am God,
I am perfect and I am flawed.

I am a tear and I am a smile,
I am an Inch and I am a mile,
You cannot define me in a thousand dimensions,
Yet I am one of my own inventions.

So,
Try stereotyping me now...
Just Can't be serious man..
\m/

My Suicide Note!

2009-11-10T18:57:00.002+05:30

I wanna end it all,
Coz I'm tired of life...

Tired of living life as a shadow of myself.
Tired of giving in to the bottle of Jack in my shelf.
Tired of friends not having faith in what i do.
Tired of sleeping through the sem, and then wondering how time flew.
Tired of girls saying no to everything i propose.
Tired of wearing the same old boring clothes.
Tired of eating South Indian food in cafes.
Tired of traveling in locals, traffic and delays.
Tired of being hired and fired the same day.
Tired of the rain in june and the heat in may.
Tired of being criticized for everything I do.
Tired of the exams I give which i normally screw.
Tired of all the plans I had in mind which never materialize.
Tired of my luck in life and the roll of the dice.
Tired of writing stuff with no one reading it.
Tired of being left out, why I'm I a misfit?
Tired of writing this suicide note which doesn't seem to end
Tired of standing out, I really do try to blend.
I'm Tired of drowning in my sorrow.
And I'm Tired of the day called tomorrow.

Hey Mama

2009-11-05T23:31:00.003+05:30

Once upon a time I was poor. My Mother made great sacrifices for me during this time and continues to do so today. But it was especially hard for her at that time, when she had to juggle her office, me and also take care of the finances. But she was always there for me, and she gave me the best childhood anyone can ever have. Although I didn't listen to her many times and regretted it later, she would always keep her patience. This little poem is a tribute to my mother... the greatest in the world of course....

Hey Mama, this song is about you and me,
We've traveled so far, its hard for me to see,
What you've done for our family, but finally,
I understand what you went through,
To buy me those beautiful shoes, When i was 5,
And when i cried, I saw the tears in your beautiful eyes.
You spent all your money buying me stuff i didn't need,
God forgive me, Man, for my deeds, so full of greed.
So now i spread the message of love in the language of rhymes,
Seeking atonement for my numerous crimes, numerous times.
You've made it Mama, it's your time to shine.
I promise, you wont have to work when i grow up,
And I'll buy you a mansion when i make a billion bucks.
And I'll buy Dad a tux he always looked at, through the window,
And You'll probably gain some kilos, riding in a stretch limo.
I know i acted a fool, I should have done better at school,
But Mom, i wanted to be cool, never realized that education was the tool.
Sometimes i cheated you mom, and the things i said were lies,
Whenever i think about those times Ma, I part of me cries,
And it can't be disguised, all is revealed through my eyes.
You asked me to keep outta trouble and I did just the opposite,
Yet you never said,"I said so", and you helped me cope with it.
You are my determination, inspiration, motivation, reason for not quitting,
And there's nothing on earth that's fitting, for all the sacrifices
you made for me, and all of your pain,
I hope never to let you down again.

I Love You Mama...

Arranged Marriages!

2009-11-02T14:18:00.003+05:30

If you are a single, typical, young man who lives in India, the day will dawn when you realize that the only way you can get SOME, lies in the hallowed institution of marriage. Most of the guys I know have squandered their adolescence trying to GET BUSY, without any luck. So one day, when you're probably 25, you'll harbor hopes of acquiring a HOT FOX through "Arranged Marriages". I shall redefine beauty so that there is no confusion whatsoever in your mind about beauty and some of you don't regret having to spend your life with a Grizzly Bear.

Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder.

What a piece of bullshit! Everyone know this is the biggest piece of prevarication ever used to con man! If she's HOT, she's HOT. Don't matter what u think or i think, she's HOT. And in your heart you know that's true.

I formally change this quote to :-

Beauty lies in the eye of the Beerholder.

Coz i won't call Queen Latifah, Naomi Campbell unless i have more beer than blood in my body.

Before you start looking for a woman, aim high, and go for the most beautiful one you can get. You deserve her. Man's wealth has always been traded off with a woman's beauty, since Adam and Eve got together. If you got the right earning potential, spending potential and the green card getting potential, you should be okay.

Don't okay a girl just by seeing her photographs, coz photographs lie!
They maybe airbrushed to get all the pimples out, make her face look slimmer and make her hair extra black (extra hair maybe added too). Some girls might even put their faces on bodies of professional models with perfect figures, and you'll find out later that she's really a 36000-24000-36000. (bad joke).

Even when actually seeing a girl in person be careful. If she's wearing a loose salwar kameez or a sari, be sure of the fact that she's obese. If she's not doing most of the talking she's probably holding her breath to hold in her paunch. You got to see her in western clothes at least once. Coz if a girl has something to show, she will make damned sure that you will see it.

Suppose you make sure that your future wife is slim(some how!). You're job is still not done. Coz a lot of overweight women go through crash diets during the wedding season, starving themselves or going to professional "fat-farms" to lose dozens of pounds, to get into presentable shape. And then they get it back on after 2 months of marriage.

A solution to this problem is that you look at their pictures taken 2-3 yrs ago. That way you'll know whether they are inclined towards obesity or not.

So best of luck you not so lucky guys!

In my next article i shall try to tackle a much more difficult question which has puzzled all of "Man"kind up to date :-

"Do women ever get Horny?"

Be The Change

2009-10-21T11:26:00.004+05:30

I will not hope for a miracle cure,
Even though there are many hardships I'll have to endure,
And of victory, i cannot be sure,
I will be the change.

I will not run from a possible fight,
If I know in my mind that I'm right,
So I wont be a martyr tonight.
I will be the change.

I will not see through the eyes of the old,
I will explore my mind, the world, and be bold,
I will walk alone if i don't have a hand to hold.
I will be the change.

I will try something new everyday,
Doesn't matter if there is a huge price to pay,
And I wont stop until all my hair are gray,
And it does seem strange, to change.
But I will BE the change.

Random Thoughts on a Sunday Afternoon

2009-10-18T15:49:00.004+05:30

My words start a chain reaction/ Premature Ejaculation/ Eternal Damnation/ I will try your patience.
In my dreams/ I'm a MC killing machine/ Rap University Dean/ A vaccine/ for all your sins.
My blog causes Mass Destruction/ Packed with Action/ I'm a Class Surgeon/ I Use Lethal injections.
I leave your mind a barren wasteland/ U piss in your pants/ I Activate Hormone secreting glands/ So Ur Future is in my hands.

The blind can see me/ Don't try to be me/ Its not easy/ I make the Virgin Mary look sleazy.
I'm the Most Imitated/ Underrated/ Rap Graduated/ Unaided/ Dated Megan Fox/ Hated.
But never intimidated/ The greatest ever Rated/ MC in the whole world.
My Rhyming Skills/ Got the MC suicide rate climbin' hills/ Got them poppin Anti-Depressant pills/ I get paid in million dollar bills.

I Speak the language of love/ I Shove/ Doves/ In the clouds Above.
The Deaf can hear wat i say/ They sway/ to my songs everyday/ I keep it cool in the middle of may.
My music is universal/ Funnier than Peter, Russel/ Gets me into a lot of trouble/ But life isn't a dress rehearsal.
I don't have a plan B/ I will be all i can be/ And say wat i must say/ Coz God wont replay today.

The 37 hour TRIP

2009-10-17T00:07:00.002+05:30

2 words

Bus ride,
I puked,
Drove fast,
All shook.

Pickup truck,
River rooms,
Ate lunch,
Kshitij gloom.

River crossed,
Simultaneously five,
Sunset Kayaking,
Headlong Dive.

We swam,
Solitary river,
Teri Deewani,
Makes-me shiver.

Barbecued chicken,
Sipping wine,
GIRLS TALK,
My time, to shine.

Wall portraits,
Generated Debates,
Smoked Pot,
T talked!

Woke up,
(The)Morning after,
Kshitij was,
(The)Scarecrow Rafter.

Rapids Rafting,
Wet Wet Thunder,
Johhnie-Walker Rajdhani,
And Boom-Shankar.

Five Brothers,
Pot & Friendship,
makes it,
The Best,
37hr Trip.

Dirty Dancing... Mihir + Me

2009-10-16T21:41:00.002+05:30

Enjoy...
Part 1

Part 2

Comments Needed!

Love and Hate...

2009-08-18T23:54:00.001+05:30

Is it possible to love and hate the same person at the same time.

I guess i have that feeling once again.

And I can't sleep.

Half Drunk Before Noon!

2009-08-16T23:54:00.000+05:30

I always wanted to be a poet. Not a very good one, but at least write something which rhymed and was meaningful. This hasn't happened yet. But i keep on trying.

This is one piece of bad, bad poetry and should not be published by any sane person. And that is exactly why I'm posting it here!

Why do I get half drunk before noon?
Coz I've failed at everything I tried,
I aimed at all the stars and the moon,
yet i only find a shadow by my side.

Why do I get half drunk before noon?
All I wanted were women and fast cars,
and be fed caviar, in a silver spoon,
now i find myself wasted in downtown bars.

Why do I get half drunk before noon?
Coz I never met my very own soul mate,
I never got out of my solitary cocoon,
And now I blame everything on my fate.

And that is why i get half drunk before noon!

Not that I mind really.

My 25th Reunion.

2009-08-09T00:07:00.002+05:30

A week from now is my 25th UICT reunion, and I'm scared to death.

Scared to face all my successful classmates, with perfect lives, money and glory, while i have nothing to show for my life except for some graying hair and a slight paunch. I looked at the 2011 UICT Bombay Technologist all night long just staring into the faces of the guys who were undergrads like me, and now are entrepreneurs, scientists, researchers, CEO's and other such successful people.

A few of the glittering successes were close friends of mine. The Tanky has become a leading pharmaceutical researcher and developed a all-in-one capsule for diseases ranging from common cold to cancer. Bevda has developed engines that run on edible oil, and also made all oils consumed by man to be totally fat-free. The Fat Bastard lives in his 200 room villa in southern Italy. One of the losers is now the Mayor of Churchgate and Andheri. The MP from Mumbai is the guy in whose room we used to smoke pot after class. The fellow whose clothes i borrowed many times just published a best-seller. The "Psycho Robot Stabbing Killing m/c" now runs a fashion house in Paris and also is the editor of the "Vogue". And I could go on and on.

Being an eternal Poet (not a good one though) I'll try to summarize my college years in two verses :-

A cup of tea before a Class,
and a smoke thereafter.
Nothing much in between,
save a little laughter.

Shots of Vodka in the night,
And smoking pot too.
But what killed us more,
were Confessions, some of which were true.

A glimpse of a fair maiden,
picturing her to be my wife.
A verse on Her and my Love,
those were the best days of my life.

Meanwhile, I'm still scared as hell.

Deep (almost profound) Shit.

2009-07-26T20:12:00.003+05:30

This blog was originally created by me to let you (the readers) get a peek into my innermost and darkest thoughts and desires. But, i admit that i have wavered intermediately. However, with this post i shall try to redeem myself.

This is a aberrant thought that keeps popping up into my mind every now and then. But i shove it into some dark, deep corner of my mind. But on this melancholy Sunday evening i cannot resist telling you all about it.

I look around me. Everywhere i see, i find people in love. In I.C.T., at home, building, neighborhood, old neighborhood, stations, restaurants, theaters, malls, everywhere! I don't think of it much at that time. But when I'm alone on a gloomy Saturday afternoon, or a lugubrious Sunday evening, I do wish there was someone i could spend my time with. Not necessarily to talk to, or do anything worthwile, or share some activity, just to sit by me and witness my life.

Sometimes i fear that i may never find Her. I have nightmares. In each one of them, i am 40 years old. (strange). On weekdays I'm slogging, doing some stupid job i hate, eating cold meals all by myself, with no one to talk to. I come home from work and make myself a small meal if i haven't ordered anything on my way back. Sometimes i just don't eat at night. Then i lay awake on a large, cosy bed until 2 in the morning when i finally decide to pop some pills that'll make me sleep. Day after day after day. On weekends I'm too drunk to remember anything. Life goes on and I die one day in my rented apartment, with a glass of rum in my hand, sitting in my grouchy old couch watching television. No relatives attend my funeral. The authorities take care of the protocol with ruthless celerity. Not a tear shed.

I hope this doesn't happen to me ever, but i give in to such negative thoughts some times. I know time will take care of me. It has to. I always believed that I was perfect, but know i realize that that isn't true. I have to get rid of my cankers and ameliorate my good qualities. (GRE mutha-fucka). I have to be more tolerant and think before i speak. I've really hurt a lot of people with my caustic remarks and i wish i could take them back. So that's a hard lesson life's taught me. Please forgive me if i fucked up ur case, or verbally assaulted you. I'm a messed up dude, and i do need you in my life.

However, I shall always try to remain true to myself.
It is always better to be sad and truthful, rather than to be fictitiously happy.

Hope i have some luck in that department, as i have had in getting my friends!

Mithun Da

2009-07-24T15:26:00.002+05:30

A tribute to one of my favourite actors...
MITHUN CHAKRABORTY...

Some of his greatest dialogues-

Apun ka muqabla kisi Amitabh, Sharukh aur tuchhe stars ke saath nahin hai agar apun ka muqbla kisi se hai to wo hai khud mithun se. Koi shaq?

Mein tere laash pe Bhangraa Karunga

Mein hun jurm se nafarat karne wala, garibon ke liye jyoti, gundo ke liye jwala.

Dada hota he baap ka baap, aur mein hun tum sab ka baap.

Mera naam he shankar, aur hun mein gunda no 1.

Bheegi huyi cigarette kabhi jal nahi shakti, tere maut ki tarikh kabhi tal nahi sakti.

Mera nam he suraj, truck driver suraj.

Aaj 1 tarikh he... 2, 4, 6, 8, 10.... bus.

Dikhne me bewda, Daudne me ghoda aur maarne me hathoda hun me.

Ayeee...maa kasam.... apun hai Mithun... yaaron ka yaar, dushmano ka dushman. Apun ka asli naam he Gouranga Chakraborty, par log apun ko mithun ya prabhuji bulate he.

Itni goliya maroonga ke gaon wale tamba bech ke amir ho jayenge.

Aj Dekhega parmeshwar
kaise marta hai rajeshwar

Kargil mein maroge to shaheed kehlaoge...yahan pe maroge to ghade ki leed kehlaoge!

maine meri diary me tere sath maut ka appointment 5 baje fix kiya hai...tu marega,zaroor marega...

dene wala jab deta hai toh chappar faad ke deta hai ,
aur leta hai toh thappad maar ke leta hai

Ye kanch bulletproof hogi magar patthhar proof nahi

hum karta hai kamaal, humse panga lega to kar dega dhamal, kyunki hamri paas hai laal rumal

Kanoon ko Khel aur Vardi ko Rakhel samajhnewale ko Jwala Maarta nahin Maar deta hai

Is amiron ke na insaafi ke kothe par mein garibon ke mujre ki shamma ko bujhne nahi doonga

oyeeeeee.....kya rayyyyy...panga nahi lene ka........panga liya to daanga ho jayega...aur daanga ho gaya na................tu bilkul nanga ho jayega.......kya....

do waqat kee roti ke saath public ka pyar mil jata hai, apne leeye itna hee kaaphi hai

sher ka shikar karna kutto ka kaam nai haiiii.........

toofan me to hum khushi se jaate hain
jhoomkar jee aate hain
tum wo ho jise samundar nigal jaata hai
hum wo hain jo samundar pee jaate hain

shaana wohi hai jo thandi aane ke pehle khambaal karide
chahe woh chor bazaar ka hi kyun na ho

Zindgi kee kitab ke wo panne padd chuka hoon jinhe log kholane se bhee ghabrate hain

Tere sineme gaad dunga mai maut ka bhala.

Nafrat ki aag mein jal kar main pyaar karna bhool baitha hoon

tu is ladki ka mama hai....mama ka matlab jaanta hai.....mama matlab ma aur mama yaani do ma

desh ke dushman tera hoga muh kala, kyunki aaj bulla ka hai janaza uthne wala

pehele tere sir pe he maut ka sehra sajne wala, phir meri gundagardi ka hai danka bajne wala

kasaam kha ke aa gaya hai intiqam ka yeh angara, baja dunga aaj teri maut ka nakkara

kundan mere kundan,laganugi tujhko chandan aur bhejungi tujhko london

ye tumhara sadaa hua tiger nahi hai..ye to Bengol ka tiger hai

Ayeee aaj kull netagiri aur gundagardi dono ek hi baap ki do harami aulaad hai

INSPECTOR KALE AB LAGNE WALE TERE MUH PE MAUT KE TALE

Bulla tunhe Lambu hatele ko maut ke tave pe sek diya
Aur uske laash ko worli ke gutter mai fek diya.......

New Hostel Rules...

2009-07-17T11:02:00.003+05:30

This has been a terrible start to the new academic year. Thanks to some new shitty rules, going to college has become miserable. The students of ICT ( localites + hostelites ) will agree to what i am saying.

The new rules this year are -

No localite can enter any of the hostels at any time.
Old hostel people cannot go into the new hostel and vice-versa.
Munna Canteen closed at 10.
Separate uniforms for new/old hostel students for identification.

I cannot believe this had to happen to us in the third year. Wtf!
Now we can no longer watch movies, take naps, or chill out in the hostels. We are forced to go home or wait in some classroom in between lectures.

This cannot be accepted on any terms. Those ICT students who have read this, please contact me (9819186331). We will decide a time and place to protest against these new rules. Please spread this by word of mouth. We need to do something. These are the best years of my life. I don't want some stupid rules to waste them.

Inquilab Zindabad,
Go Home Hostel-in-charge.

The Pain Of being Ignored...

2009-07-08T18:50:00.003+05:30

I am being ignored by almost everyone since school reopened. I don't know why. I know I've been rash with a lot of people including my friends. So, the thing that i feared the most has finally happened. Although i might try to convince myself that i can survive without anyone talking to me, deep down i know it is completely false. I need my friends. I need people to laugh at my jokes, (or at me in most of the cases.) I need to borrow notes, be informed of lectures and practicals, and to give me company in trains.

I've made fun of a lot of people through this blog. Let me tell you a secret. I envy each one of that person. The people that have been made fun of in this blog are the people who are going to be leaders of tomorrow. They have a lot of talent and potential. I see that in them. Since i possess none of their qualities, i TRY to laugh at them. But the joke is on me, really.

I am an ugly, lonely caricature of a human being. I need you guys to stop ignoring me. I'm sorry if i have hurt you, and i wish to make amends to it through this post. God has been kind to me by bringing you people into my life.
So please look after me.

I hope ur not ignoring this blog too...

Sarang Bhaway: A Tale of 2 Cities.

2009-06-07T16:56:00.002+05:30

Sarang Bhaway is one messed up dude. He plays excellent table-tennis, gets good grades and is pretty well behaved in front of the ladies. He even avoided liquor for 1 whole year just to be Mr. goody pants. But even that wasn't enough for this bitch to get laid. Enough with the eulogy, lets get on with the story.

Sarang Bhaway: A Tale of 2 Cities.

Part 1 -

CHURCHGATE

For one whole year Sarang got on to the train to churchgate, but never really made it to that station. Unfortunately for him, a stupid, lousy, bird-brained chutiya, the T.C. in this case managed to sneak in and kicked Sarang out. This chutiya wouldn't let Sarang get near churchgate, and stuck to it like an ant to a sugar cube. Churchgate also took full advantage of Sarang. While it vasuled taxes from him, It wud never let Sarang use its amenities, like electricity, water, roads, security from theives in the dark. Hahahahaaha....

Then Sarang got mugged. The muggers took his cellphone away and beat him up mercilessly (exactly what i wanted to do for 1 yr). The next day he came to college and we laughed at him until our stomaches hurt. This isn't a part of the story, but its too good to miss.

Then one day Sarang realised that he will never get to Churchgate. Also i told him that Churchgate is too small a place for anyone to live in(its microscopic.). So he abandoned his mission to get to churchgate.

Part 2

ANDHERI

Nothing much has happened in this chapter. But Sarang being Sarang, i'm sure he'll screw this up too.

I Love Women's Breasts!

2009-05-31T14:46:00.005+05:30

I had to say it.

Big or small, Soft, Fluffy or Stiff, i like them. While here in India women aren't allowed to even show their faces to men outside their family, (probably because their ugly), women in North America are fighting it out to be topless in public places.

http://www.tera.ca/index.html

This is living proof of what I'm trying to say.

The next logical question that arises in my mind is, what if they win?

Well, if these women actually get laws made where they can go topless on the streets of North America, it would be beyond my wildest imagination. (And my imagination runs pretty wild, as some of you may know.)

Consequences of Toplessness-

Boners anywhere, anytime for men of all ages, creeds, castes, religions and walks of life.
No tan lines at all. Boobs of Gold literally!
Closure of bra factories and lingerie models out of work.
Road accidents.
Textile mills would be shut down.
Plastic surgeons becoming the next millionaires.
People opting for plastic surgery courses instead of computer science.
Happier people.
No need for cardio in gyms, everytime u see a naked boob, your heart will go racing.

Huh...

Had to get that off my chest.. (oops!)

High Till I Die!

2009-05-23T00:16:00.002+05:30

High Till I Die!

You shoot, sip and swallow, Drown in your Sorrow,
Feels good, probably do some more tomorrow.
Smoked so much pot, Ya Blood Group is THC,
Followed by a Whiskey shot, Its got a Hold of me. (Hihi)

Your Trippin, Strange visions Cloud your mind,
Bloody Nose's Drippin, Your brain begins to Grind.

An incredible Kick, You got ur money's worth, you Fly,
The dope's Playin Tricks, गिवेस यू विंग्स, Just to say Good-bye! (pass out)

The next morning is like, "व्होट दा फक हप्प्न्द?"
Your Saddened, Its over, no money to eat.
think i Got some Coke left, So who gives a shit?
So the cycle "cunt"tinues, Until the day u die,
I think i can break out, But who wants to try?

its True, sucks to be U.

Two lungs weren't enuf for dis life,
Probably Should stab myself with a Knife.
And clean out my lungs, With a duster,
Courage must muster, to live a day without weed,
To feed, my body with real food,
Its good, but the Amphetamines were better,
made me go faster than Olympic figure skater.

Ambivalent emotions, Rock thru my mind "to and fro",
On the Cusp, matter of "Touch and Go".
Feel Suicidal, Cant take this shit anymore,
Life was an Angel, turned into an Ugly Whore.

Things to do in One's Lifetime

2009-05-21T00:53:00.003+05:30

Things to do in One's Lifetime

Smoke Dope, Pop pills, Shoot coke, Cheap thrills.
Eat junk, Beat kids, Slam Dunk, Bike Skids.
Be Born, break Vows, Watch porn, Milk cows.
Feel Boobs, Kick ass, Rape Noobs, Smoke Grass.

Rise up, Fall down, Be happy, Don't Frown.
Take Advice, Dont use it, Roll the Dice, Admit it "Dimwit".
Sleep for hours, Gulp your beer, Frequent showers, Wet the fear.
Watch your words, Rhyme your verses, Mock the nerds, Time your curses.

Drive Fast, be First, Be last, Have thirst.
Make friends, Speak out , Set trends, Do Shout.
Make Love, Have sex, Jerk Off, Latex !
Bunk Class, Get High, Time alas, 4 u to die.

I used to love her.

2009-05-20T12:20:00.004+05:30

I used to love her, but now its over,
just like a punk rocker met a Jock -of " honour".
Weed, X, and Acid tabs killed it,
Ripped it, rolled it, Smacked and Drilled it.
Got Drunk and screamed at her in a fight,
The make up lyrics didn't seem to be too tight.

Now i say, "Bitch please", suck a dick and two balls,
And i'll get u out of the mess u made by shoplifting at malls.
all she said was, "well i'll give u a call",
Although i know she has pictures of me on the bedroom wall.
Blast, she walks into my living room, catches me pants down and all,
with 2 other women ofcourse, boy, we were having a ball.

Screaming, she threatens to leave me, i say "Shut the door and come on in bitch".
I smile, put out my doobie, shout "Rip your lips off, and kiss my ass with it."
She runs away like Forrest in "sweet home alabama", dont mind, she's just as retarded.
I'm Frank Costello, when it comes to this, I decide who lives, and whos' "The Departed".
She'll come back to me with higher rewards, its me holding all the cards, the whore,
My violent crimes, my time to shine, Never made a bad deal, no buyer's remorse.

My 1st Trip to the U S of A.

2009-05-18T11:09:00.002+05:30

America is the land of opportunity (mainly because of Strip Clubs and Adult movie conventions in Las Vegas.) So i always dreamed of going there on a vacation. When i first arrived in Los Angeles i met some "Players". Although i never quite understood what sport they played, they were happy, joyful people. They always kept talking about Sunny Beaches, and Mother Truckers. They never used any grammatical rules, punctuations, conjunctions and twisted the English language, just like the Chittapavans in Ratnagiri.

These players are always listening to Wrap Songs. In wrap songs, the narrator keeps on saying "bitch", "cunt" and "doggy" with some non-sense words inserted between them. He never lets the musicians play their instruments, although the tabalji manages to provide a beat though with much difficulty. Wrap songs remind me of Atal Bihari Vajpayees' speeches. A Vanilla - faced mc called Eminem is the dopest Rapist around they say. All other rapists are tanned whites who run jewellery stores.

The people in America are very friendly. Whenever i ask for a photograph and a smile they show me the middle finger. It is their way of greeting us. So i too wave my middle finger at everyone i see, especially the police and old grannies, as i want to be nice to them.

The american is very respectful of the brown man. Whenever i take a bus and it is full people offer to give me seats and take God's name. I know we are computer experts but this is too much. I think that is because they think we're a mixture of Vanilla Faces and Playas.

The woman of america is very beautiful. But they are wasting their talents. I ask "very nice, how much?", they call cops or call me animal names like "pussy" and "meat", even though i say i will use protection.

Will continue in next post...

Friends

2009-05-07T19:12:00.002+05:30

Once a guy asked me if i had a friend who was perfect. If he met me today i would answer "Abhay Sane, it is". As I've described to you already in my earlier posts, it is amply clear that he is God. I have a Tee quoting "I was an atheist till i realised i was god." Now i'm gonna change it to "I was an atheist till i realized Abhay was god." He is that good.

Anyways i have lesser fortunate friends also, who are not endowed with Abhay's qualities, but are equally as important in my life. So this post is dedicated to them mostly...

A friend is a person who likes you inspite of your faults. (Sometimes for your faults also!!!)

So this goes out to all my friends...

Even though you're going to a summer camp with your 11 year old brother and other such pre - adolescents, and you have no shame admitting it, (and you being a 19 yr old), you're still my friend.

Even though you never made it to Churchgate (the railways kicked u out at marine lines, hahahaha), you're still my friend.

Even though you're dating a toddler who eats cerelac and wears huggies, you're still my friend.

Even though you're obsessed with a girl who dumped you thrice, and used you as a porter, courier boy, etc. for 39 years while dating other men, you're still my friend.

Even though The Math fucked ur ass soooo hard, that you probably have a perforated ANUS, you're still my friend.

Even though you Hit on every girl you lay your eyes upon, you're still my friend.

Even though your backbone is crushed to a million little pieces, you're still my friend.

Even though ur a MVP soccer superstar, and you didn't even get close to having a female WAG, (even though u shaved your mustache off), you're still my friend.

Even though ur bald for all practical purposes and weigh about 350 pounds, you're still my friend.

Even though u appear to be (and most probably are) a member of the gay community, through your words and actions, you're still my friend

So all my friends, be proud of your lack of scalp hair(only), your perforated anus', your homosexuality, your crushed backbones, lack of game^2, your pre-puberty girlfriends, and unhealthy obsessions with a member of the opposite sex.

Because in my eyes u are perfect, (less than Abhay ofcourse), and my life would have been joyless, soul-less, and most importantly weedless without you.

Peace Out.

P.S. - U bunch of wussies fell for that sentimental shit i dropped, didn't you. ;-)

Thrown out of Class

2009-03-25T20:29:00.000+05:30

Well, i was thrown out of the analytical chemistry lab for no reason on Monday. This got me thinking about how unfair life is.What had i possibly done to annoy HER? i do not know...

How many times in school have you felt like biting your teacher's head off? Well, i don't know about you, but i have a general contempt for all teachers.

Well, after i was thrown out i felt crappy for about 15 min. But then i met some of my friends in the canteen. That made me happy. It is important for every one of us to know that when we are rejected by someone we are not rejected by everyone. I could be myself in front of them. They didn't bother how i behaved because deep down they know that i'm good, caring, helping and innocent. My friends can rely on me. I don't care what mistakes they have made, or how badly they have behaved, ill always help them and support them.

There are times when I think we should be proud to be rejected. Almost anybody who has made a difference in the world has experienced rejection. The Hebrew prophets were rejected. Jesus was rejected. Gandhi and the Dalai Lama were rejected. The abolitionists, the suffragettes, the civil rights marchers were all rejected. You could quickly compile a list of imminent and admirable people and every one of them at some time or another would have experienced rejection. I think there are times when we should be glad we do not fit in.

I am obviously going to face the repercussions of being thrown out in the exams. But i do not worry about that. I live my life fearlessly.

My advice to you is to live your life according to what you feel is right. Dont bother about hurting other people's sentiments and all that stuff. People who are unfair to you will suffer, either directly or indirectly. Live life your own way. You life might be short this way, but it'll be bloody wonderful.

But most importantly -
Dont be a chatya...

AND REMEMBER ALL TEACHERS -

"YOU CAN THROW ADWAIT OUT OF THE LAB, BUT YOU CANT THROW THE LAB OUT OF ADWAIT."

Marijuana Dreams - Pt 1

2009-02-28T15:06:00.003+05:30

Alternate Nirvana-

After a particularly high dose of herb, i go to bed. I fall asleep. I awaken. The Sun is shining through my window and its rays hurt my eyes. Slowly, i open them. A cool breeze kisses my forehead. I am drawn outdoors.

I step out of my house. The sky seems to be a tall glass of vodka with a lemon slice (probably the sun) squeezed onto it. My eye greedily drinks as much as it can, until my brain feels numb. After a long silence I hear something buzzing in my ear. At first i think its Jefferson Airplane playing their no. ones. But then i hear someone reciting "Ode to Melancholy" by Keats. One of my favorites.

I notice a single tree somewhere in the meadows. I walk towards it. It has all kinds of fruits laden on it. I pluck a banana, 2 apples and a pineapple from it. The pineapple hurts my fingers. I notice them cut and bruised. An angel appears from one of the apples and a green wicked creature from another, as i keep eating the apples. Then the angel and the goblin ram into each other and i see a baby being born.

The baby explodes into a hundred bubbles.

Suddenly i see carnival tents all around me. Freaks, dwarfs, elephants, children sucking on cotton candies. Remember, that at this point i have no money, no friends around and especially no herb. I enter a tent. I see an ugly refugee from the free love generation snorting on his coke. Stay away from powders, Kids.

The pattern on the tent begins to swirl. It forms a revolving passage. I walk through it to a dance hall filled with Proto-Hippies. They are dancing and singing and laughing. One girl has i particularly broad smile. I enter her mouth and find myself in the San Francisco of the middle sixties.

I crash into "consciousness expansion" or you may call it a generation of permanent cripples, failed seekers, who never understood the essential old-mystic fallacy of the herb Culture.

But no explanation, no mix of words or music or memories can touch that sense of knowing that you are
here and alive in this corner of time and the world.  

"My head is heavy, my limbs are weary,
And it is not life that makes me move."

- Percy Bysshe Shelley.

The Curtain Falls.

Soumya Deep Ghosh...

2009-02-13T14:53:00.003+05:30

Soumyadeep Ghosh.

Soumyadeep Ghosh is a hero no one knows about. He isn't even in the history books. Some people even doubt whether he has the citizenship of India or not. But you cannot deny the fact that he singlehandedly brought victory to India in world war 1 and 2, and even in the Kargil war of 1857.

From the beginning, Soumyadeep knew he was destined for greatness, although Isha would never be his. This was because he knew Adwait Deshpande. He was born of a Belgian Dad and Mexican mom in East Kanjurmarg. He loved the jews. So he killed Hitler and that was how the Battle of Panipat ended. Soumyadeep wrote many novels under the pen name of P.G. Wodehouse and Agatha Cristie. Soumyadeep taught Martial arts to Bruce Lee, and Tennis to Rod Laver.

Soumyadeep once peed in the Himalays and that gave birth to the holy Ganges. He tripped over once and the Grand Canyon was formed. He travlled down the mississipi with his friend, Huck Finn, and freed all the black slaves. He invented automatic machine guns and cotton candy on the same day. He created the first computer which he still uses today. Neil armstrong and his buddies stayed at Soumyadeep's house on the moon the 1st time they went there.

Then Soumyadeep turned 11.

Like all youth of his age, in East kanjurmarg, He joined a Gang, to get his "props".
He won the beer drinking competition 3 times in a month. Then the worse happened. Isha was kidnapped by the chinese as she was on the verge of finding a cure for prostate cancer. So Soumyadeep rode on his tricycle to China and thus defeating 1000's of ninjas and samurai's rescued her. After that China became a democracy.

Soumyadeep probably saved the world 20 times after that. but since he always used a fake name in battle so no one knows him. He will go unnoticed by time and history, but he will always be my hero and drinking companion as long as he pays. And you can't take that away from us. ( i mean the alcohol.)

Contradictions in a Student's Life

2009-01-17T22:10:00.003+05:30

"From your first day at school you are cut off from life to make theories”

Taisen Deshimaru

LIFE is the continual exploration of the relationship between the individual and the world. Institutional schooling inverts this process. Our education system progressively alienates the individual from him-Self.
Obedience and imitation require nothing original from the child. Sit, stand, kneel. Accepting blindly other's ideas and behaviour. We submit ourselves to others, not thinking for ourselves.

We are just a Cog in the economic machinery, through years of brainwashing.

Modern education literally sucks the LIFE out of the student.

Men are born ignorant, not stupid; they are made stupid by education”

Bertrand Russell

The Chinese say, to know and not to do is not to know”; therefore it can be reasonably assumed that most students and nearly all academics know nothing.

The definition of success is such that in order to SUCCEED we must imitate. And to imitate is to add to the mountain of (largely irrelevant) technical information that, being abstract, literally draws the student out of direct connection with the world.
Science is Reason’s most gifted child. Science seeks to formulate principles or laws that account for the operations of the natural world. The scientific method is simple:
1. Observe phenomena
2. Formulate a hypothesis to explain the observed phenomena
3. Test hypothesis
This simple schema allows us to see exactly where Science and Reason fit together with Art. The formulation of a hypothesis is an entirely creative and intuitive act; it is Art. In other words Reason, if not grounded in Art, does not work.
If Science is not grounded in Art it loses its direction – the source of its hypotheses. Art is the domain of the Self; it is direct intuitive knowledge. Separated from his-Self the student is a stranger to Art, intuition, creativity and authentic desire.

Conclusion:

The secret to fulfilment, happiness and a better world is there is no secret. After wrestling with the enormous absurdity and frustration of modern life you eventually say: Fuck it! This deep thought is depressing me too much. I just want to enjoy myself”, and ironically you solve your dilemma. You rediscover what you already knew as a child - that happiness is your purpose - and realise that, as an adult, doing what makes you happy is the most revolutionary act imaginable. Oh, and for those solemn souls who think such selfish anarchic pleasure will destroy the world, haven’t you ever noticed that happiness is something that only grows when it is shared?
Rejecting every value, belief and direction that doesn’t emanate from within your-Self is necessary to ‘clear the decks’, so the speak. With this reversal of perspective education becomes a matter of using that which resonates with that within you and ignoring the rest. That is, education becomes part of the Art of living - it becomes part of LIFE.

And what is good, Phaedrus, and what is not good - need we ask anyone to tell us these things?”
Robert Pirsig
Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance

Atoms

2009-01-06T23:08:00.004+05:30

Well people have been bugging me to write about something scientific for a long time. But its just not my cup of tea. I've got many offers from Sci Am and other such magazines for articles but I'm not interested.

Anyways I'll do one just for you (UD public)

But since I'm in UICT, I'll write something about chemistry.

Atoms are the basis of chemistry...

So Atoms is my topic today

ATOMS

What are atoms? Atoms are "particles" so small, people cant see them. Only scientists can. Thats why i want to be a scientist when i graduate. Well since no one has actually seen an atom, we have to keep faith that atoms exist. Just like how we keep faith in 36 crore of our Gods.
And yeah, Atoms are indivisible... Just like Amar, Akbar and Anthony...
They cant be divided... Like India and Pakistan are... or Paul and Heather... or Anil and Mukesh...
Atoms were present on earth a long long time ago. Even before dinosaurs. They are even older than the queen of England!!!
Atoms can be fat and thin .... Just like us...and they have brains called Nucleas's
Atoms also bond man... just like us ... Hetero... Homo and even in groups....
Atoms have charges, positive and negative... So they have friends and enemies just like us...
Atoms have various energy levels.
Eg.
Atom in a classroom = lowest level
Atom at friend's place = medium level
Atom in a bar = Highest level
Atom in a bar with free and unlimited booze = Atom explodes into subatomic particles
Some Atoms are unstable and Decay... They are put into mental institutions
Atoms are found in different states, like high, drunk, sober, depressed, @#$%ed, etc.

Atoms were discovered by Indian Philosophers... I love Indian Philosophers man, they're cool. They just think, and do nothing. No experiments, no logic. Basically they've taken a chill pill and don't bother proving their ideas to others. Just my kinda people.

This concept was then Stolen by one Mr. John Dalton. And other White people added their nonsense to it.

This is all i know about atoms. Hope it has been very educational to you.

Cheers,
Adwait Deshpande

The Boring People - How to Avoid Them

2009-01-03T22:37:00.002+05:30

We meet Boring people everyday, everywhere we go. Frankly, life is too short to endure Boring people. They suck the joy out of our life. They can turn a good mood into a bad one. They make our good jokes look crappy and bring us down in any way they can, just because they aren't as good as us.

Personally, I would rather be around people who are fully engaged in their life experience with lots of energy, strength of character and interesting things to talk about. I would like to be around people who will have personality, humor and are just plain fun to be around.

So the Fundamental Problem is -

HOW DO WE AVOID BORING PEOPLE?

Whenever they come near you, pretend that you are talking on the phone. (U cant do this every time.)
Try to act as if you are in a hurry, or you remembered to do something important.
Always say you have other plans, even if they maybe be to curl up on the sofa and watch T.V.

Some people are so clingy that they refuse to leave your side, even for a minute, and they don't get the picture that u aren't interested.
The above mentioned methods wont work for them.

There is only one way to get rid of such people. Insult them time and again in front of everybody.
Although it will be difficult to do so in the beginning, you will enjoy humiliating them later. (This is my personal experience.)

These are my thoughts on Boring People and How to avoid them....

But i need your inputs too, so gimme some new, innovative ideas.

Until then, Goodbye.

New Year Resolutions

2009-01-01T16:02:00.003+05:30

I make resolutions each year. And each year i complete them successfully.

Since no one reads this blog anyways, people wont know of my new year resolutions. So if i mess up, cats wont pop up and nag me about them.

So 2009,

This is what i have to offer.

I will bath as less as possible and conserve more water.
I will use more deodorant and do less laundry.
I will not tell the same story at every get together.
I will not embarress my friends in public places.
I will not by-heart jokes and pass them of as my own.
I will attend as many lectures as i can.
I will not call people names, although they thoroughly deserve them.
I will not call other people boring, although we all know they are.
I will behave myself in all places.
I will not swear in English. It is an insult to my mother-tongue which has the best abusers any language can have.
I will not trouble little children playing arcade games.
I will not call anyone "Gavwala", "Gavthi", etc. It hurts their feelings.
I will not look down upon people who do not understand my jokes. (I know I'm gifted and everyone is not bestowed with that kind of wit)
I will drive safely.
I will not eat half eaten bananas put away for 3 days.
I will not mock nerds.
I will NOT go to lonavla.
I will be happy and cheerful, and try to make everyone else happy and cheerful around me.

The last one was a little senti....
sorry...

Anyways best of luck for 2009,

Get Rich, Get Pussy, Be Fresh, Be a Player!
Cya in 2010 ...

Official Song of the FOOSKERS

2008-10-18T11:05:00.000+05:30

We be “Rolling Stoned”, and I aint talking bout “Classic Rock”,
Climbing Fastest to the top, feelin all inhibitions Drop,
When we smoke the POT, feels like a Bison hit the chest,
Then we Puff some more joint and pass it to the left.

When I’m high my vision is blurred and hazed,
The brains A Maze, all confused and dazed,
The Dopes a blessing, Hits u harder than Ali,
Wounds u’d be dressing, with Happyness and glee.

We get high on GRASS, like folks at wimbledon,
Fly to Mt. Everest, Glide thru the Grand Canyon,
We no good without out it, the Magnificent Shit.
It’s big, larger than life, like Pam’s Silicon tits.

- Adwait Deshpande

Because i got High

2008-10-11T22:58:00.002+05:30

I was gonna study Phy. Chem but I got high,
I was gonna write a poem but I got high,
And words don’t come to me now and I know why,
Because I was high.(3)

I was gonna attend the Math tute but then I got high,
He called me a fuckin Chut but then I got high,
And I messed up my pts and I know why,
Because I got high.(3)

I liked a girl (and her buns) but I then got high,
I was asked her out for lunch but then I got high,
Now I’m jerkin off to her and I know why,
Because I got high.(3)

I coulda saved my soul but I got high,
I thought I was in control but I got high,
But now I’m a Foosker and I know why,
Because I got high.(3)

-Adwait Deshpande
(The Fooskers)

Picasso vs. Modigliani

2008-10-08T19:39:00.004+05:30

I have recently seen many paintings of Picasso and Modigliani, online of course. I wish to share with you what i feel about them. I am no art critic so please bear with my ignorance if i have missed out on anything.

Modigliani had a deep respect for Picasso as an artist. He used some aspects of Picasso's cubism, and the way Picasso would depict his artistic friends during his blue period would remain one of the main themes in Modigliani's own work.

Pablo Picasso's Blue Period refers to a series of paintings in which the color blue dominates and which he painted between 1901 and 1904. The blue period is a marvelous expression of poetic subtlety and personal melancholy and contributes to the transition of Picasso's style from classicism to abstract art.

Picasso's style is a fascinating synthesis of many of the important styles in modern art, in which he "borrowed" from many of his contempories, and in Modigliani's case he would borrow from a man who had initially borrowed from him.

No-one neither disputes the expressionist quality of Modigliani's art, nor will many disagree that Vincent van Gogh is the arch-father of expressionism. It therefore seems unlikely that Van Gogh was not a major influence on Modigliani and there is ample evidence that he was.

In Modigliani's painting Jeanne Hébuterne wearing a straw hat the influence of Van Gogh is clearly visible by the prominent monochrome background, the thick, dark contours, the course, expressive brush strokes in the straw hat and the flatness of most of the painting.

If you look at Picasso's painting Les Demoiselles d'Avignon then you'll see faces that are crude, and made that even the artistic avant garde would doubt his sanity. It was Modigliani who introduced subtlety to abstract portraiture and it took Picasso decades to construct his version of a mature style of abstract portraiture, which had come naturally to Modigliani.

One of the best examples of Modigliani's style is his painting Jeanne Hébuterne wearing a straw hat. One of the key-elements of Modigliani's portraitism were the slanted heads, derived from Byzantine cariatides. However, the eyes and mouth are almost horizontal and the curvature of the nose makes it almost vertical. Regardless of these artefacts, the portrait is still as subtle and descriptive as a figurative portrait but has the directness and expression of abstract art. The portrait's subtlety is due to Modigliani's unique talent, but it's essence, the facial construction is one of the most important artistic inventions of modern art.

Picasso would go on schematize Modigliani's facial constructions, which would become the key-element of his own style and what people associate Picasso with, today. This schematized version of Modigliani's style would prove to be far more copyable and hence of far greater direct influence, but would never attain Modigliani's artistic maturity and subtlety, nor would it result in portraits that accurately resembled the subject, as Modigliani's portraits did.

I am now studying the CUBISM style of painting invented by Georges Braque and Picasso.

Things i Hate

2008-09-26T23:01:00.005+05:30

This part of my life is called HATING.

I hate people who only respond to survey emails or send stupid forwards.

I hate parents who try to talk to their children like adults. Kids are overrated, if they don't listen smack them square in the ass and you'll be surprised how much better they hear.

I hate people who say. "If they want to live here they need to learn our language".

I hate girls who don't swallow.

I hate girls who wear shirts like "If you're cute I'm single".

I hate people who say "all children are special" or "so perceptive". I'm sure that booger-eating moron of yours has all of life's questions answered.

I hate people who don't like any music made before 1990.

I hate people who don't have the balls to say they have a problem with me.

I hate arts and crafts.

I hate when people think I'm pissed. I'm sorry I’m not shallow and don’t have a smile plastered on my face all the time.

I hate girl power or girl empowerment music.

I hate fat people who pretend that the reason they're fat is a thyroid problem. Right. I think it's more of a "I love Big Macs and Pepperoni Pizza" problem.

I hate girls who expect to be treated like equals, and then want me to hold the door open for them. Pick one bitch, equality, or special treatment.

I hate girls who own red pants. That screams, "I'm an annoying bitch".

I hate girls who automatically think I'm not good enough for them, simply because I'm not donning Abercrombie.

I hate people who even when they know for sure that they are wrong, continue fighting their point.

I hate people who are offended by "the F word".

I hate girls who expect me to know what they need.

I hate people who cop an attitude with me for no reason whatsoever.

I hate women who are dirt-poor, and pregnant with her fifth kid.

I hate anyone who gives up too easily.

5 Greatest Musicians Ever.

2008-09-21T22:28:00.007+05:30

These 5 artists have given me so much pleasure all my life. They have been my companions whenever i was lonely or sad. I cannot let a single day pass until i hear one of their songs. They are truly gifted and put all their soul into their music which makes it divine.

Pt.Bhimsen Joshi

Pandit Bhimsen Joshi, who is riding the crest of popularity and has ridden it for the last several years, is a musical marvel. His singing invariably provides listeners with a divine musical ex- perinea. Many of his rivals admit, though unwillingly, that today there is no other vocalist comparable to him in the entire nation.

Bhimsen, who is now in his 60s, has attained proficiency and fame that astound the musical world. His voice, like that legendary philosopher's stone, turns every note into a golden one. Billions of notes that have received the golden touch of his voice have been freely showered by him on the teeming millions of his fans. His unswerving faith in an intense devo- tion to his guru have been his keys to success.

Bhimsen is a versatile singer; he is an expert in khayal singing but he is also adept in the presentation of thumris, songs from plays, or devotional compositions. His lilting thumris (Jadu bhareli, Piya ke milan ki aas or Babul mora) and his innumerable popular Abhangs composed by the saints of Maharashtra are instances in point.

Padma Vibhushan in 1999
Karnataka Ratna in 2005
Padma Bhushan in 1985
Padma Shree in 1972
The Sangeet Natak Akademi Award in 1976
First platinum disc in 1986
Maharashtra Bhushan award by Govt. of Maharashtra

Bhimsen is a prodigy - unique - a divine miracle. We should admire his tremendous accomplishments in the realm of music, revel in the heavenly experience of his gayaki and pray to God Almighty to bless this musical genius with a long life. In the whole of India there is no one else who has atained so much and given so much to music lovers. Listeners in he U.S.A. and the U.K. love and admire him.

Stevie Wonders

Stevie Wonder (born Stevland Hardaway Judkins on May 13, 1950, name later changed to Stevland Hardaway Morris)^[1] is an American singer-songwriter, multi-instrumentalist, and record producer. A prominent figure in popular music during the latter half of the 20th century , Wonder has recorded more than thirty top ten hits, won 26 Grammy Awards^[2] (a record for a solo artist), plus one for lifetime achievement, won an Academy Award for Best Song and been inducted into both the Rock and Roll and Songwriters halls of fame. He has also been awarded the Polar Music Prize.

Blind from infancy, Wonder signed with Motown Records as a pre-adolescent at age twelve, and continues to perform and record for the label to this day. He has ten U.S. number-one hits on the pop Charts, 20 U.S. R&B number one hits, and album sales totaling more than 150 million units. Wonder has recorded several critically acclaimed albums and hit singles, and writes and produces songs for many of his label mates and outside artists as well. Wonder plays the piano, synthesizer, harmonica, congas, drums, bongos, organ, melodica, and clavinet. In his early career, he was best known for his harmonica work, but today he is better known for his keyboard skills and vocal ability.

Billy Joel

The son of a German-Jewish Holocaust survivor but raised as a Roman Catholic in a middle-class suburb on Long Island, New York, Joel was steered toward classical music by his parents and began piano lessons at age 4. At age 14, enamoured of the British Invasion and soul music, he began playing in bands. With the Hassels, he recorded two albums in the late 1960s, and a stint in the heavy metal duo Attila followed.

In 1971, recast as a singer-songwriter, Joel recorded the poorly produced Cold Spring Harbor for Family Productions, which locked him into an exploitative long-term contract. Seeking refuge in Los Angeles, he performed under a pseudonym in a local piano bar. Meanwhile, a live recording of Joel's song “Captain Jack” caught the attention of Columbia Records executives, who extricated him from his contract. His first album for Columbia, Piano Man (1973), featured a hit single of the same name; based on his piano bar experience, it became his signature song. Mixtures of soul, pop, and rock, Piano Man and Joel's subsequent albums—Streetlife Serenade (1974) and Turnstiles (1976)—earned praise from critics and set the stage for The Stranger (1977). Featuring four U.S. hit singles (one of which, “Just the Way You Are,” won Grammy Awards for song of the year and record of the year), it sold five million copies, surpassing Simon and Garfunkel's Bridge Over Troubled Water to become Columbia's best-selling album to date.

Joel's string of hit-producing, award-winning platinum albums continued with 52nd Street (1979), Glass Houses (1980), and The Nylon Curtain (1982). On the last, Joel, whose lyrics had previously dealt primarily with romance and slices of life, introduced his first socially conscious songs, “Allentown” and “Goodnight Saigon” (about unemployed steel workers and Vietnam War veterans, respectively). In the early 1980s Joel was among the first established rock performers to make music videos. During this period he married supermodel Christie Brinkley (his second marriage; they later divorced). From An Innocent Man (1983), his tribute to his doo-wop and vocal group influences, through Storm Front (1989) and River of Dreams (1993), Joel continued to produce well-received albums. In 1999 he was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

Michael Jackson

Michael Joseph Jackson (born August 29, 1958) is an American musician, entertainer and businessman. The seventh child of the Jackson family, he debuted on the professional music scene at the age of 11 as a member of The Jackson 5 and began a solo career in 1971 while still a member of the group. Referred to as the "King of Pop" in subsequent years, five of his solo studio albums have become some of the world's best-selling records: Off the Wall (1979), Thriller (1982), Bad (1987), Dangerous (1991) and HIStory (1995).

In the early 1980s, he became a dominant figure in popular music and the first African-American entertainer to amass a strong crossover following on MTV. The popularity of his music videos airing on MTV, such as "Beat It", "Billie Jean" and Thriller—credited for transforming the music video into an art form and a promotional tool—helped bring the relatively new channel to fame. Videos such as "Black or White" and "Scream" kept Jackson as a staple on MTV into the 1990s. With stage performances and music videos, Jackson popularized a number of physically complicated dance techniques, such as the robot and the moonwalk. His distinctive musical sound and vocal style influenced numerous hip hop, pop and contemporary R&B artists.

Jackson has donated and raised millions of dollars for beneficial causes through his Dangerous World Tour, charity singles and support of 39 charities. However, other aspects of his personal life—including his changing appearance and eccentric behavior—generated significant controversy which damaged his public image. He was accused of child sexual abuse in 1993, the criminal investigation was closed due to lack of evidence and Jackson was not charged. He then married twice and fathered three children, all of which caused further controversy. The singer has experienced health concerns since the early 1990s and conflicting reports regarding the state of his finances since the late 1990s. In 2005, Jackson was tried and acquitted of further sexual abuse allegations and several other charges.

One of the few artists to have been inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame twice, his other achievements include multiple Guinness World Records—including one for Thriller as the world's best-selling album—13 Grammy Awards, 13 number one singles in his solo career—more than any other male artist in the Hot 100 era—and the sale of over 750 million units worldwide. Jackson's highly publicized personal life, coupled with his successful career, has made him a part of popular culture for almost four decades. In recent years he has been cited as one of the world's most famous men.

Bing Crosby

Harry Lillis “Bing” Crosby (May 3, 1903 – October 14, 1977) was an Academy Award winning American popular singer and actor whose career lasted from 1926 until his death.

One of the first multimedia stars, from 1934 to 1954 Bing Crosby held a nearly unrivaled command of record sales, radio ratings, and motion picture grosses.^[1] He is cited among the most popular musical acts in history and is currently the most electronically recorded human voice in history. ^[2] Crosby is also credited as being the major inspiration for most of the male singers of the era that followed him, including Frank Sinatra, Perry Como, and Dean Martin. Yank magazine recognized Crosby as the person who had done the most for American G.I. morale during World War II and, during his peak years, around 1948, polls declared him the "most admired man alive," ahead of Jackie Robinson and Pope Pius XII.^[1]^[3] Also during 1948, the Music Digest estimated that Crosby recordings filled more than half of the 80,000 weekly hours allocated to recorded radio music.^[3] Clarinetist Artie Shaw described Crosby as "the first hip white person born in the United States."^[4]

Crosby exerted an important influence on the development of the postwar recording industry. In 1947, he invested US$50,000 in the Ampex company, which developed the world's first commercial reel-to-reel tape recorder, and Crosby became the first performer to pre-record his radio shows and master his commercial recordings on magnetic tape. He gave one of the first Ampex Model 200 recorders to his friend, musician Les Paul, which led directly to Paul's invention of multitrack recording. Along with Frank Sinatra, he was one of the principal backers behind the famous United Western Recorders studio complex in Los Angeles.^[5]

In 1962, Crosby was the first person to receive the Grammy Lifetime Achievement Award.^[6]

Crosby is one of the few people to have three stars on the walk of of fame.

Useless Blogs & Bloggers.

2008-09-12T12:26:00.007+05:30

Everyone seems to be blogging these days. Me, my neighbor, his dog, etc. But most of these blogs lack quality. My advice to all the new and old bloggers is that, please evaluate yourself. No one is interested if you are fat/thin, psychotic, loserish, or plain gay. Or if you want a boyfriend/ girlfriend.
No one wants to read about your experiences in school, college, workplace, or at the mental hospital. Your thoughts are plain stupid, keep them to yourself.
You went to Hawaii for a vacation. So what. We don't want to know about your Homosexual conquests there. Your friends cannot possibly be as bad as you are. But that does not mean we will tolerate looking at their fugly pictures or reading para's of trash description about them.

Please don't waste cyberspace. Delete your junk. (hint = Some people from my class have started blogging. This definitely applies to them.)

These fuckin blogs seem to pop up like mushrooms in wet weather.

Well my advice to you is to treat them like mushrooms.

"FEED 'EM SHIT AND KEEP 'EM IN THE DARK."

I am an exception of course.

Why Indians fail At Olympics...

2008-08-10T17:26:00.002+05:30

Now that the beijing olympics has started, the race for medals between China and the U.S.A. is ON!
But we can be certain of one thing, that India, will be lucky to win even one GOLD medal. Here are a few reasons why India always sucks at the olympics...

There are more officials than sportsmen at international events.
The officials have all the luxuries while the players have to share non ac rooms, toilets and even sportswear.
This country lacks basic infrastructure required for sports.
Bribing, Red tape, bureacracy and all that bullshit.
Indians have bad Genes. They dont make good athletes.
Indians cant get over cricket.
Racism, Casteism, and regionalism amongst selectors.
Plain apathy

For a land with world-class computer scientists, mathematicians, biotech researchers, filmmakers, and novelists, sporting excellence is a lost frontier.

The Lost Puppy

2008-08-04T19:01:00.005+05:30

This is an essay i wrote in the 7th standard on a topic called "The Lost Puppy". You can see that i was very talented from a very early age. I have split the essay up into separate sentences so that you can marvel at its beauty and also analyze my writing pattern. One rarely gets to read and learn from the early, unpublished works of a leading literary genius(me). But I know you will enjoy this one.

Recess. All the calm the kids kept during school was let out with squeals, screams and running wildly about.

We went out to the playground. I watched in disgust as Aditi took a big bite out of her idli sambar which dropped on her shirt, her skirt and the floor.

Suddenly I hear a little wine and a big whale coming from behind the slide.

We saw a dog that looked South Indian. He was so dehydrated that he gained five pounds when I spit on him. It was a black and brown pit bull with fluffy white ears.

The dog was so skinny he couldn't put anything in his rib cage.

His head was the size of a cauldron. The first word that came to mind was Hydrocephalous.

Fear now filled my body as I saw it. It was more horrible than Shalu Aunty.

The next moment it was jumping on us and licking on our feces. He was so excited he jumped up and down and leaked on us.

Rite away I knew it was a boy because of what it did to Sunita.

We also could tell it was boy because the boy has bigger eyes than the girl.

I thought he was going to lick my friend to death but the teacher pulled it off in time.

We were astounded with amazement.

I smuggled the dog into the school. After we fed him, the puppy used the bathroom in my book bag.

The teacher looked at the dog's foot. It looked as if it were hurt so she banged it up.

We took the dog to the vet and we found out the dog had an upper suppository infection.

Then we took a picture of him and blew him up and hung him on some poles.

We hung his pitcher, my member and my address.

We hung the flyer on the telephone pole but it flew away.

We didn't name the dog because we didn't think it would come when it was called, anyway.

When I was in school the dog got lonely and barfed.

After it had grown up we let it go free. And the first out the yard it got a date.

One day it got into a fight with another dog. After it was over, the other dog's owner took him to the veterinarian to get a prosthetic ear.

Bodybuilding Myths Busted!

2008-07-31T17:18:00.002+05:30

- Creatine will not kill you if you take it when you're fifteen. Neither will NO Explode.

- People don't really care that much about your progress from 145-146 pounds.

- Yes, if you're not gaining weight at 140 pounds, eat more.

- If you don't like squatting, squat anyway.

- Yes, you should work legs and back.

- No, you should not have a bicep/arm/chest day, every day.

- No, you shouldn't lift weight five hours every day.

- No, you are not going to go from 150-200 pounds in two months.

- People don't give a shit if you want a six pack and you HAVE to have one by next week.

- If you're 140 pounds, don't cut over the summer so that you have a six pack. Clean bulk.

- The cholesterol in egg yolks is dietary cholesterol. Eat it and shut the hell up.

- Soreness is not an indicator of muscle growth.

- 1-3 reps strength, 4-6/7 strength and mass, 8-12 mass (generally...around there...yeah)

- If you're going to get into a fight and you want my advice, I suggest you get a brick and throw it at the person and then run.

- If you have a problem, kill it. Jus' sayin'.

- Squatting will not stunt your growth. Weightlifting itself will not stunt your growth.

- Do not take steroids when you're fifteen at 148 pounds.

- Do not ask whether it is safe to take so-and-so supplement at 15/16/17, unless it's a prohormone or a steroid. In that case, still don't ask.

- Protein does not mess up your liver.

- Yes, you can take protein and creatine at the same time. But don't add in fish oil tablets, or your face will explode. It's like mixing soda and pop rocks.

- Cell tech is too hardcore. Don't buy it.

Goodbye,

Train Hard,

Adwait D.

Boy bites Dog.

2008-07-30T21:39:00.002+05:30

This is the most significant news of the 21st century. It has changed our lives forever. Now we can hope for a better tomorrow and give those nasty dogs a taste of their own medicine (saliva in this case). In India, where dogs are a menace, we must learn this new art to defend ourselves against those vicious mongrels. The ART of DOG BITING!

I present to you our new Hero and Saviour, Gabriel Almeida!

An 11-year-old boy is enjoying a flash of fame in Brazil after biting a pitbull that attacked him as he played in his uncle's back yard.

Gabriel Almeida, who lives on the outskirts of Belo Horizonte in the state of Minas Gerais, broke a canine tooth when he bit into the dog's neck to fend off an attack.

Almeida described how he managed to beat the dog at it's own game.

"When he bit me I bit him back. I wrapped my arm around his neck and started to beat him," he told reporters after the incident.

Since then, he has been pampered in the studios of several TV stations, where he has been recounting his ordeal.

He was freed when construction workers from a house next door pulled the dog off him and needed four stitches in his arm.

Alexandre Guimaraes, who helped save Almeida, explained how they pulled him out of the yard.

"Our priority was to take him (Gabriel Almeida) out of there. We managed to do that, so we brought him out here and left the rest for the police and rescue workers," he said.

The attack frightened the family, who no longer wants any dogs in the house.

"It (dog) can't come back. We no longer want this dog.

In fact we don't want any other dog around here," said the boy's grandmother, Arlinda Almeida.

The dog, which belonged to the boy's uncle, may have to be put down if the family refuses to take it back in.

HAPPY DOG BITING,
goodbye,

Adwait Deshpande.

Jaane Tu' YA Jaane Trauma.

2008-07-24T19:15:00.004+05:30

Well i went to see Jaane Tu' with my friends, which was the most stupid thing ever. It was a complete waste of time and money. Dear Aamir "Pussy" Khan, i no longer trust your judgement or common sense at all.

This is why i completely hated the film.-

It has no sex or violence whatsoever, which cinema is all about.
The Hero is kinda GAY.
The Hero has no hair on his chest/back which is not possible for any REAL Indian man.
The Item's (heroine) Hindi accent sucks.
Nothing actually happens in the movie.
The Comedy isn't Subtle AT ALL. (You maybe surprised, but thats true)
The Potrait Talking thing has been done a million times before.
Comedy sucks.
Comedy sucks BIG time.
The Khan brothers are disgusting. They cant act for chrissake!
The ending is typically BOLLYWOOD

For all those of you making plans to see this movie, Drop it.
I'd recommend "Mamma's with Mammoth Mammaries" Episode 69 Anyday.

Bbye,
Take Care Readers,

Cya Soon,
Adwait D.

Hole Sale.

2008-05-04T21:51:00.004+05:30

Isn't this the place where a man dreams of going atleast once in his lifetime. In a world of hypocrisy and double standards, this stands as a monument of the real purpose of our existence on earth, the reason for, and the solution to, all life's problems and the only goddamn thing worth paying for.

This shop is on the way from kabootar-khana(dadar east) to the portugese church.
Really, I Bet you.

I know we are all shit scared to admit this in front of society, our parents and teachers, for forever we have been told of what is right and what is wrong, without letting us decide for ourselves. But today i have been freed. I have understood the eternal truth of the Universe. I am no longer afraid to follow my heart and do what is right.
For long I have denied myself of this pleasure in vain. It has brought about nothing but misery and pain in my life.

Ask yourself these q's i asked myself?

Would we be here if it wasn't for a hole?
Can such a thing ever be sold? (its invaluable)
Who would be noble enough to selflessly spread so much joy amongst mankind and some womankind too? (its this shop)
Wouldn't it be the end of the line for us without holes?
Will not a hole-less world drive us crazy?
Don't we just love POLO?(a mint with a hole; it lowers your sperm count though)
Why do we always underestimate the power of black holes?(I've got one and its far more powerful than a nuclear weapon)
NO GOLF and CARROM and POOL, etc. Ever.

Your just wasting your time reading this. I checked out the place last evening. It sells Women Over 40 clothes. For women with Over 40 Inch waists i mean. The owner told me that the name boosts sales(Filthy Bastard). It lures desperate men in and then they have to buy negligees for their over 40 wives to avoid embarrassment. Poor lads.

My dreams have been crushed, and all my hopes and aspirations for the future have been vaporised. I feel Suicidal. But i'm used to it so thats OK.

Lyrical Suicide

2008-05-02T20:24:00.004+05:30

Seven stories high she sits on her throne, Haughtily as fits a queen,
Waiting for the clouds to part, Enjoying the view beneath.

Tearfully a man looks up, A man with a hope and a dream.

I LOVE YOU says the man, causing the throng to giggle.
but isn't loving the queen illegal?

don't pity this man, for he wont die in regret,
and i don't know how it ends, cause it hasn't ended yet.

p.s.- read between the lines

10 Things That Arent Going To Happen in MY Lifetime...

2008-04-04T19:24:00.003+05:30

1> I getting a place to sit in the 7:50 Thane local each morning. (Damn u Mulund People!)
2> Getting a P.W. Atkins - Physical Chemistry, issued from the library. (although the p c there says there are 4 copies available. Who the fuck hides them?)
3> Prof. RVJ slowing down in a power packed sleepy lecture. (for the love of god)
4> 6 Pack Abs!
5> Beating Sarang in a game of Table Tennis. (Done that twice already!)
6> Start liking "YOU KNOW WHO". (seriously)
7> Getting a normal Haircut.
8> Being even remotely interested in anything to do with Academics.
9> Listening to my parents.
10> Being with a girl (you know how), and i sincerely hope this turns out to be false.

My Friends at UICT - "we bunch of losers"

2008-03-26T21:40:00.002+05:30

Here's something about my buddies at UICT....

Victim 1 = Abhay Sane a.k.a. Tanky
This dude here is the coolest person i have ever met. He is amazingly clever and humble at the same time. He drinks like a fish but thats ok, coz it doesn't affect his brain in ways which it would to normal human beings. He is very helpful most of the times and puts friends before himself. All girls secretly love him but he doesn't know about that yet. Thank god for that!

Message to Him- Stop acting cool, Dude, coz that just makes you perfect.

Victim 2 = Nikhil Basutkar a.k.a. Battu
Battu belongs to the soccer pitch. Football is the only thing he knows and he knows it well. We named him Battu coz of his surname and his height (below 5 ft.). The Dude just lost his cell so please offer him some condolences if you ever meet him. BTW He is a gem of a friend. I just love to hangout with him coz he is always in a good mood.

Message to Him- Grow a moustache ASAP. Stick to soccer and don't ever dare to play tt with me, and you know why.

Victim 3 = Abhiram Kannan a.k.a. (himself)
This fat Bastard is useless. You will always find him playing carrom in the recreational room. He has a great sense of humour. He loves to party and to get together with friends and enjoy. We always use abusive language to talk to each other as it is easy to communicate that way. I don't know why some people have a problem with that. He is a great swimmer, but a better friend. We always see the funnier side of things and that is why we are such great friends and will continue to be so forever (atleast this year).

Message to Him- Lose some weight. Study a little bit more. Do not stick, to 1 chick (rhyming).

Victim 4 = Saurabh
He is a good Badminton player and a Karate black-belt. He lives in Gujju-land (mulund) which is nearby so we meet up sometimes and do timepass. He is a scholar (dont know why he came to UICT when he had gotten through BITSAT). He says he is different from others but he doesn't say how(hope he's not gay), although that is accepted nowadays. He is very aggresive and doesn't take jokes-on-self too well.

Message to Him- Change the things you can, now, don't look back at the past.

Victim 5= Dhananjay Bhandari a.k.a. DJ
He is a complete nerd. He studies all the time and solves everyone's doubts in class. Doesn't pretend to be someone he is not. He also plays soccer well. He is extremely thin and needs some fat implants. He rarely comes to movies, malls, theme parks with us (don't know why). He is a complete workaholic and needs to have some fun in life.

Message to Him- Gain Muscle weight. Study a little less and play a little more. Hangout with us sometimes. Wear Teenage Clothes.

Later,
You Readers and "FAN(S)" of my BLOG,

Adios.
Adwait Deshpande

Please DONT read this.

2008-01-27T21:21:00.000+05:30

Since absolutely no one reads what i write, i am gonna slip a few secrets about me here, and also bust some common myths about me that i would let no one know. Without wasting anymore time, here i go!

1> Behind that "i don't give a @#$%" attitude, lies a sensitive, caring, helpful, noble, philosophical, innocent young mind which cannot see others suffer and I cannot sleep at night thinking of how cruel the world is.

2> I am not a GYM type of guy. I would rather spend my time among books, gathering knowledge about all possible things, and sharpening my already intellectual mind to incredible proportions.

3> My aim in life is not to have a nice, muscular body(with 6 packs), but to study hard, get a good job and support my parents in their old age. (If they don't kick me out before that)

4> I do not think women are the weaker sex. In fact women can bear more pain than men, and certainly work harder that men if they want to. But i still do not understand why they lift disgustingly light weights in the gym.

5> I NEVER LIE, unless i have to.

6> I insult, humiliate, and ridicule people all the time, but i feel sorry for them for exactly 7 seconds after i have committed the deed.

7> I Believe in GOD. (a.k.a. myself)

8> I am sadder than i appear to be.

9> I never mean to brag about myself, but its difficult not to, when you are as great as me.

10> I am Always lonely. (seriously) [please help me out here]...

gotta slide now,
take care guys...

SEM-1 screwed!!!

2007-11-29T15:46:00.000+05:30

Screwed up sem-1...

and i loved every moment of it.

UICT has a recreational room which consists of 2 sports(not technically), table tennis and carrom. I'm good at both. 70% of my time in the college has been spent in that room. Bunking lectures was never this much fun!

Made some great friends here, some cherished moments i'll never forget (read peninsula)... and some that i will have to (read surprise tests).

I've also promised myself that i will keep posting on my blog regularly. Weight training is going well and i'm pumping some serious weights in da gym now...

FY-BTECH

Got into UICT

2007-08-26T18:39:00.000+05:30

For all those guys who dint know, (which is most of you),i got into UICT/UDCT for BTech in Textile chemistry.
I am really enjoying going to college, standing for 4 hrs for pracs and travelling through crowded trains.
I just dun wanna fail in da 1st sem. But i'm not studying hard, not to fail either...

yeah dis is my college...

lessons i learnt this week...

2007-06-19T19:57:00.000+05:30

I'm disappointed right now due to my low scores in the entrance exams. Also i'm hurt due to the betrayal by a stranger who i thought was a friend.
I have learned very important lessons from this incident.

1> Limit your world to yourself upto an extent
2> Dont expect anything of others, they are bound to disappoint you.
3> Dont be afraid to make new friends even though some have betrayed you.
4> Nobody loves you more than you do. Guaren - fuckin - teed.

I AM A DIFFICULT PERSON TO LIVE WITH SO I DONT BLAME ANYONE FOR ANYTHING...
thank you....
bbye...

Exams over, finally.

2007-05-26T20:30:00.000+05:30

All my engg. entrance exams have gotten over on 17th May. Now i'm a freebird. Now i spend my day in driving lessons, gym, football, hanging out wid friends...etc, etc.
I am also tryin freestylin and rapping....

Bye for now.
yeah deleted all that crap too...

Things i learnt today....

2007-05-02T12:11:00.001+05:30

1> Orkut MAYAJAAL hai.....usme ulajh naa jaana
2> The more you care about people the less they care about you.
3> All that glitters from behind, is not gold....[this is true while looking at gals in malls/ public places with their backs turned to us...]

4> Arguing on the internet gets you nowhere.
5> Things discussed on the internet never materialize...
6> Orkut causes more complications rather than providing conclusions

SO NO MORE ORKUT FOR ME.......

Back to my Life

2007-03-28T15:42:00.000+05:30

Haven't posted much about my day to day life, coz nuthin interestin is happening....
Plus no ones ever gonna read this so it doesnt matter anyways...
But still gotta post...
These days i spend my time studying for various engg. entrance exmas, playing football,giving tests, workouts in the gym, and a little bit of surfing on the net.

Actually I AM BORED WITH LIFE....

I need SOME time out with my friends and definitely wanna make some new friends...

thats all folks,
Adwait Deshpande.

2006-11-04T11:25:00.000+05:30

All those who read Archer might already be knowing this story, but i want to share it with those who havent read it yet...

Death Speaks

There was a merchant in Bagdad who sent his servant to market to buy provisions and in a little while the servant came back, white and trembling, and said, Master, just now when I was in the market-place I was jostled by a woman in the crowd and when I turned I saw it was death that jostled me. She looked at me and made a threatening gesture; now, lend me your horse, and I will ride away from this city and avoid my fate. I will go to Samarra and there death will not find me. The merchant lent him his horse, and the servant mounted it, and he dug his spurs in its flanks and as fast as the horse could gallop he went. Then the merchant went down to the market-place and he saw me standing in the crowd and he came to me and said, Why did you make a threatening gesture to my servant when you saw him this morning? That was not a threatening gesture, I said, it was only a start of surprise. I was astonished to see him in Bagdad for I had an appointment with him tonight in Samarra.

- Jeffery Archer.

In Da School

2006-10-01T14:24:00.000+05:30

This is a song created by some ex- student of Smt. Sulochanadevi Singhania School. It rocks completely and has cool lyrics. It is laden with controversis and you will enjoy it to the core, so here is the link.
(Parental Advisory:- Explicit Content)

http://www.esnips.com/doc/67f6be66-a0dd-4acc-a769-fe191f2697fa/In-Da-Skool.mp3

Listen to it or download it....
{It takes 1-2 min. to buffer, so have patience if you wanna hear it, so downloading is better.}

Lyrics

Go, go, go, go
Go, go, go amma
It's your birthday
We gon' party like it's yo birthday
We gon' sip paani like it's your birthday
And you know we don't give a fuck, its not ur b'day.

you can find me in tha canteen , wid a vadapav in my hand,
yeah i been in tha band , but i really dont mean to stand,
so i went back to amma and launched a complain,
she made a only idli sambhar outta my brain !!!

when she talk on tha mic , fuck like we close our ears,
stop tha indiscipline my children and she blows our fears,
she wears a wig and then calls herself mel gibson,
dont tell me she is tha mother of 7200 children,
if she walks in darkness only her teeth are visible,
dont feel this dissin coz my shits all lyrical,
just sit back chill out and have some laugh,
coz ur skool is overflowin wid south indian staff,
motion of idli in physics and then sambhar flow,
if u put idli in chutney where does tha carbon go,
maths mein number of wadas in a single plate,
dixit comes in wid a peti singin jingle bell,
kazi in tha lib arrangin books and stuff,
srinivasan in tha room killin crooks and stuff,
raghvan in tha class singin song to you,
bhalkar busy teachin TD what is wrong to you !!!!!

you can find me in tha canteen , wid a vadapav in my hand,
yeah i been in tha band , but i really dont mean to stand,
so i went back to amma and launched a complain,
she made a only idli sambhar outta my brain !!!

my class my ass bought me that funky grade,
while disu sat there wid a face money made,
my clothes my broz my toes my foes,
i dont know where tha hell this goes
but do remeber sawant miss teachin biology,
dont eat that dirty pav tum sirf khao bhaji,
enterin late in tha class god hit her wid a clock,
but this vivek accidentally hit her wid a chalk,
so i listen to sattarke and formed a straight circle,
i say its dark blue kulkarni sayz its wet purple,
and gadre wid tha tabla ready to rock tha joint,
still puttin middle finger sayin u got tha point ,
shanti still teachin maths tryin to bring us up,
prabhu miss explainin tha facts wid her fingers up,
dhar miss comin wid a lathi hitin all tha buts,
menon miss wid a scissors doin all tha cuts,
shedge with tha football kickin off tha field,
goose flyin here and there plz stop that yeild,
tha ground is greener hope to see some bunny floes,
fees damn real high now see where tha money goes !!!

you can find me in tha canteen , wid a vadapav in my hand,
yeah i been in tha band , but i really dont mean to stand,
so i went back to amma and launched a complain,
she made a only idli sambhar outta my brain !!!

Euphoria Rocks -!-!-!->***** >5 stars from me.

2006-09-06T10:36:00.000+05:30

Well , i just went to a free trial for topspin (cycling) in euphoria, and i loved it. The ambience there is great along with some good music and nice instructors, who make you work hard.
I am planning to join euphoria full time, for topspin. Soon I'll have a physique that men envy and women adore. I recommend Euphoria to all who suffer from Obesity and other health problems.The instructors will help you in every way possible and make you burn that fat.
In the following months i will look like Arnold (Russel Arnold of the Sri Lankan cricket team ,not Arnold Schwarzenegger.) .
So all ya playa's on da streets, watchout!!!
The Big Bad Nigga is cumin to town!!!

How Opal Mehta got cloned, got copied and didnt get a life!!!

2006-08-30T11:32:00.000+05:30

Kaavya Viswanathan

Harvard undergraduate Kaavya Viswanathan faces an accusation that numerous passages in her first novel, ''How Opal Mehta Got Kissed, Got Wild and Got a Life" closely resemble a 2001 novel, ''Sloppy Firsts," by Megan F. McCafferty. Here are a few of the passages in dispute:

Best Friend

Bridget is my age and lives across the street. For the first twelve years of my life, these qualifications were all I needed in a best friend. But that was before Bridget's braces came off and her boyfriend, Burke, got on, and before Hope and I met in our seventh-grade honors class.

''Sloppy Firsts," page. 7

Priscilla was my age and lived two blocks away. For the first fifteen years of my life, those were the only qualifications I needed in a best friend. We had first bonded over our mutual fascination with the abacus in a playgroup for gifted kids. But that was before freshman year, when Priscilla's glasses came off, and the first in a long string of boyfriends got on.

'Opal Mehta," page 14

The Bad Boy

The other thing about Marcus is that crackheaded girls who don't know any better think he's sexy. I don't see it. He's got dusty reddish dreads that a girl could never run her hands through. His eyes are always half-shut. His lips are usually curled into a semi-smile, like he's in on a big joke that's being played on you but you don't know it yet.

''Sloppy Firsts," page 23

Just about every girl, from the A list HBz to the stoner hoochies, thought he was sexy. The weird thing was, I didn't see it. He had too-long shaggy brown hair that fell into his eyes, which were always half-shut. His mouth was always curled into a half smile, like he knew about some big joke that was about to be played on you.

''Opal Mehta," page 48

Personal Space

Marcus then leaned across me to open the passenger-side door. He was invading my personal space, as I had learned in Psych class, and I instinctively sank back into the seat. That just made him move in closer. I was practically one with the leather at this point, and unless I hopped into the backseat, there was nowhere else for me to go.

''Sloppy Firsts," page 213

Sean stood up and stepped toward me, ostensibly to show me the book. He was definitely invading my personal space, as I had learned in a Human Evolution class last summer, and I instinctively backed up till my legs hit the chair I had been sitting in. That just made him move in closer, until the grommets in the leather embossed the backs of my knees, and he finally tilted the book toward me.

''Opal Mehta," page 175

Shopping

Finally, four major department stores and 170 specialty shops later, we were done.

''Sloppy Firsts," page 237

Five department stores, and 170 specialty shops later, I was sick of listening to her hum along to Alicia Keyes, and worn out from resisting her efforts to buy me a pink tube top emblazoned with a glittery Playboy bunny.

''Opal Mehta," page 51.

YET ANOTHER EXAMPLE’

From page 6 of McCafferty’s first novel: “Sabrina was the brainy Angel. Yet another example of how every girl had to be one or the other: Pretty or smart. Guess which one I got. You’ll see where it’s gotten me.”

From page 39 of Viswanathan’s novel: “Moneypenny was the brainy female character. Yet another example of how every girl had to be one or the other: smart or pretty. I had long resigned myself to category one, and as long as it got me to Harvard, I was happy. Except, it hadn’t gotten me to Harvard. Clearly, it was time to switch to category two.”

‘SOMETHING SO RANDOM’

From page 217 of McCafferty’s first novel: “But then he tapped me on the shoulder, and said something so random that I was afraid he was back on the junk.”

From page 142 of Viswanathan’s novel: “...he tapped me on the shoulder and said something so random I worried that he needed more expert counseling than I could provide.”

NO TENSION TO COMPLICATE’

From page 223 of McCafferty’s first novel: “Marcus finds me completely nonsexual. No tension to complicate our whatever relationship. I should be relieved.”

From pages 175 and 176 of Viswanathan’s novel: “Sean only wanted me as a friend. A nonsexual female friend. That was a good thing. There would be no tension to complicate our relationship and my soon-to-be relationship with Jeff Akel. I was relieved.”

‘SWEET AND WOODSY’

From page 46 of McCafferty’s first novel: “He smelled sweet and woodsy, like cedar shavings.”

From page 147 of Viswanathan’s novel: “...I had even begun to recognize his cologne (sweet and woodsy and spicy, like the sandalwood key chains sold as souvenirs in India.)”

SOME SIMILARITIES TO ‘SECOND HELPINGS’

‘TO BUY DIET COKES FROM’

From page 67 of McCafferty’s second novel: “...but in a truly sadomasochistic dieting gesture, they chose to buy their Diet Cokes at Cinnabon.”

From page 46 of Viswanathan’s novel: “In a truly masochistic gesture, they had decided to buy Diet Cokes from Mrs. Fields...”

‘PINK TUBE TOP EMBLAZONED WITH A GLITTERY PLAYBOY BUNNY’

From page 68 of McCafferty’s second novel: “‘Omigod!’ shrieked Sara, taking a pink tube top emblazoned with a glittery Playboy bunny out of her shopping bag.”

From page 51 of Viswanathan’s novel: “...I was sick of listening to her hum along to Alicia Keys, and worn out from resisting her efforts to buy me a pink tube top emblazoned with a glittery Playboy bunny.”

EXTRA POUNDS TURN UP IN BRA

From page 69 of McCafferty’s second novel: “Throughout this conversation, Manda acted like she couldn’t have been more bored. She lazily skimmed her new paperback copy of Reviving Ophelia—she must have read the old one down to shreds. She just stood there, popping another piece of Doublemint, or reapplying her lip gloss, or slapping her ever-present pack of Virginia Slims against her palm. (Insert oral fixation jokes, here, here and here.) Her hair—usually dishwater brown and wavy—had been straightened and bleached the color of sweet corn since the last time I saw her...Just when I thought she had maxed out on hooter hugeness, it seemed that whatever poundage Sara had lost over the summer had turned up in Manda’s bra.”

From page 48 of Viswanathan’s novel: “The other HBz acted like they couldn’t be more bored. They sat down at a table, lazily skimmed heavy copies of Italian Vogue, popped pieces of Orbit, and reapplied layers of lip gloss. Jennifer, who used to be a bit on the heavy side, had dramatically slimmed down, no doubt through some combination of starvation and cosmetic surgery. Her lost pounds hadn’t completely disappeared, though; whatever extra pounds she’d shed from her hips had ended up in her bra. Jennifer’s hair, which I remembered as dishwater brown and riotously curl, had been bleached Clairol 252: Never Seen in Nature Blonde. It was also so straight it looked washed, pressed and starched.”

SHIRT ALERT

From page 88 of McCafferty’s second novel: “By the way, Marcus wore a T-shirt that said THURSDAY yesterday, and FRIDAY today.”

From page 170 of Viswanathan’s novel: “He was wearing an old, faded gray sweatshirt that said ‘Tuesday’ on it. Except that today was Thursday.”

Coincidence or Copying?

Lets us all imagine the humiliation and mockery that Kaavya would face in Harvard.
This teaches all young wannabe authors not to copy others works for a quick buck.
You will definitely be caught. Let us further examine the audacity of Kaavya Viswanathan-

The Washington post has also discovered similarities between Viswanathan's book and Sophie Kinsella's "Can You Keep a Secret?" Also Tuesday, the Crimson reported it had found other sections where "Opal Mehta" echoed Rushdie's "Haroun and the Sea of Stories" and Meg Cabot's book "The Princess Diaries."

How did she get into Harvard if she could not understand such blatant consequences of her actions??? (it ruined her life and any chances of her being an author.)
This shows us how important moral values and ethics are in ones life. One must not be carried away by instant success on fickle grounds. You are bound to fall and getting up isnt all that easy.

Jaswant Singh -Jassi jaisi koi nahi.

2006-08-02T11:00:00.000+05:30

Jaswant the mule of indian politics

Jaswant With Collin

The News
The guessing game has begun in full earnestness about the alleged US mole at former prime minister PV Narasimha Rao's PMO after former external affairs minister Jaswant Singh made a mention about him in his book titled A Call to Honour.

Jaswant Singh has dropped broad hints. He has said that the person was an 'uncivil' civil servant. But he has not yet disclosed the name.

At a time when the Indo-US relations are at an all-time high, there is a risk that Jaswant's comments might make a difference. He has already been dared by Prime Minister Manmohan SIngh to come out in the open with the name.

But then why is Jaswant Singh not making the name public if he has enough evidence to back his claims? Does he really know who the mole is? Does he have enough evidence?

He says he has already told the name to the top two leaders of the BJP - Atal Bihari Vajpayee and L K Advani.

But the question is then, 'Why aren't there too many supporters of Jaswant Singh within the BJP and why is Jaswant Singh so reluctant to make the name public?'

Meanwhile, Singh has not yet got an appointment from the PM 'to share these details in confidence'.

But on Wednesday, he did decide to exclude the name of one person from his list of suspects from among Rao's bureacrats, that of former scientific advisor V S Arunachalam.

Even after that exclusion, there are quite a few who could be on the list of possible suspects according to Jaswant Singh's claims.

They include Amarnath Verma, former principal secretary to PM and one who was described as one of the most powerful man in his times; Bhuvanesh Chaturvedi, a minister of state in the PMO; Ram Khandekar, addlitional private secretary to the PM; Jitender Prasad, political advisor to the PM; Matang Singh, a minister of state in the PMO; Aslam Sher Khan, a minister of state in the PMO; and RK Prasad, press information advisor to the PM.

My views

The u turn of Mr. Jaswant Singh makes me believe that someone is forcing him not to reveal the true "mole's" identity.

Old age is a second childhood. Mr. Jaswant Singh may be suffering from alzheimers or any other memory related diseases.

It was a publicity stunt for his new book. People will buy his book no matter what after this "mole" controversy.

May be the mole is a high profile person who will get

Mr. Singh if he reveals his identity.

Jaswant is the mole himself.

Dr. Manmohan Singh is the mole.(Best one).

Just forget it.Who knows the truth in these controverses.Gotta continue with your life and keep on critisizing politicians.I would also like to here your comments on this controversy, so keep postin!!!

Yours truly,
Adwait Deshpande.

The Prince of Kurukshetra

2006-07-28T22:37:00.000+05:30

NEWS

Army's engineering unit from Ambala had been deployed to rescue prince.

Eyes of Hope, Fear and Innocence.

Leaving no stone unturned for the rescue.

Out atlast after 48 hrs.

After an agonising wait of more than two days 5 year old Prince has been rescued on sunday evening from the bottom of a 53 foot and 1.5 feet wide shaft in Shahbad, Haryana.

Prince, who turned 6 during the ordeal, had fallen into the deep, narrow shaft that was left uncovered by workers in Haldheri village on friday evening while he was playing near it.

The shaft had been dug for a submersible tube well.

Experts from the 65 Engineer Regiment of the Army’s Ambala-based 2 Corps supervised the rescue operation.

Officials said Prince displayed "tremendous survival instincts" by remaining calm in the pit, something that also made the task of the rescuers easier.

Army personnel dug a 56-feet deep, 15-feet wide parallel tunnel from a dried up well alongside the shaft to rescue Prince after almost 50 hours

A soldier finally reached Prince a little before 1900 hrs IST. The tunnel was then widened so that the boy could be pulled to safety.

The rescuer first provided the kid with food and glucose and a doctor examined him before he was brought up.

A doctor said Prince might need counseling to overcome the trauma of being trapped in a pit for so long, but pictures beamed by CCTV cameras showed his condition improved as the rescuers boosted his morale.

MY VIEWS

In a country with a population of over a 100 million, the life of a 6 year old boy from a humble background, doesnt seem worth much.But the Army and the Government's efforts to save the life of one, such as Prince is commendable, although it wouldnt be given the same consideration without the intervention of the media according to me. Therefore the efforts of the media in bringing this story to the forefront and covering it so extensively at the cost of their air time must also be applauded.
(Although some B- grade news channels overdid it as always.)

The boy himself must be applauded for holding on to life for so long and not losing his head when all about him were losing theirs. (Not everybody mind you, but over-eager journalists and by-standers of-course)

The 65 engineer regiment of Ambala worked day and night to rescue the boy.Surprisingly no media person was eager to interview them, but they harried the boy's parents who were as confused as everyone else.

Anyway after 2 long days of digging and shoving, Prince was rescued from the pit of death, and finally emerged victorious in the battle of life in kurukshetra [incidentally.(?!!!)]

AS THEY SAY:-

ALL'S WELL THAT ENDS WELL!!!

The Fukitol Pills

2006-07-27T13:55:00.000+05:30

Now you all know i am an original rapper, this is an 100% original poem from the master (Adwait) himself.You all are lucky to have read it, scroll down and enjoy the work of a genius.

THE FUKITOL PILLS

Heavy rains, open drains, blasts in trains,

People blown up everyday, too much for my thinking brains.

Doesn’t Israel know that violence breed’s violence?

But until when do we maintain our silence?

The honest politicians, the hard working government,

Set such fine examples for us to follow,

That we work with all our hearts and souls,

Only to lead a life of misery and sorrow.

Addicts’ getting there daily fills,

Wanting to get high with some more cheap thrills,

The poor are getting poorer and only the rich can pay bills,

Time to take some FUKITOL PILLS!!!

Is this blog getting too commercial? (please let me know)

2006-07-17T10:46:00.000+05:30

My cousins and friends have been telling me recently that this blog is becoming too commercial and it has lost its personal touch.Blogs are meant for us to express our views about various issues, but i havent been doing that.Therefore paying heed to this advice i am going to write about 3 of my friends in school who have been central characters in the story of my life. (Guess who?)
Please do not stop giving me your valuable advices to better the blog and post your comments about the blog on the blog itself.Also make this blog famous by telling all your friends and relatives about it.

So keep visiting my blog and i wish you all the best for your future ventures.
Over and out,
Adwait Deshpande.

Ankit ki phatti pant!!!

2006-06-30T11:06:00.000+05:30

An interesting incident took place on wednesday.There was a fight between Ankit and Shaurya(mentioned in earlier post) during recess.Ankit's left leg was caught between two benches and his jeans tore in the form of a V shape on his left thigh.We all scolded Shaurya who is a very naughty boy and always does these kinda things.
Another thing i am confused about is related to a girl in our college called Ankita.
Everybody (especially Sharan and Shaurya) say that she is acting weird and giving them the cold shoulder, and so they wont give her any bhaav, but as soon as she comes to college they start chatting with her and what not....
This is really confusing and if you have been observing this trend contact me at 9819040356 and we will discuss it.I will tell you my real opinions about this and evrything else cause its too controversial to be published here.

Real bad day - evrything goin wrong

2006-06-24T14:15:00.000+05:30

Got whacked in the head yesterday by Swami (maths prof) for sitting on the last bench and solving maths sums which he wasnt teaching.Everybody thought it was extremely unfair.What can u do?You cannot expect justice all the time, after all the world is meant to be unfair.But god will do me justice!!!

12th june - College reopening

2006-06-17T12:11:00.000+05:30

Had to get back to college after a long vacation.It was boring as usual.The teachers here dont seem to know the words quality, waste of time and pure bullshit.
neways, gonna post the next blog when something interesting takes place.

The wedding!!! atlast

2006-06-16T11:59:00.001+05:30

These are some pics of my bro Chinmays wedding.This particular picture consists of their family, consisting of Ujjwal mavshi (xtreme left), Manasi, R.D. kaka, and Chinmay himself.

This is just a flowery* ritual.

(*pun intended)

Ajji(grandma) performing aarti for the Kelkar khandan and especially ghar ki laxmi!! when she is enterin their house for da 1st time.

Bright lights for a bright future.

The Couple at Kelkar's house

Got up at 6:30 and stood in line for usage of the toilet and the bathroom.(Sunanda atya's flat=1 room kitchen;no. of people= 11 !!!).My turn came a about 8:30 and i was ready by nine.We reached the punyai hall by 10 am.Almost all of the rituals were over by then.Had breakfast.After loitering about for half an hour we discovered that the bride's cousins had stolen Chinmays shoes and had hidden them in their room.Since it was unethical to enter their premises we could not retrieve them.I had lunch at bout 1 pm.All the close relatives were to eat at last at about 2 pm.Then the bus arrived at 3:30 pm and we reached Chinmay's house at 7 pm.After some more rituals i had a light dinner and i went home.Finally the day had come to an end.

Marriage is the perfection of what love aimed at,ignorant of what it sought.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson.

To keep your marriage brimming;
With love in the wedding cup;
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up.
-Ogden Nash

A sucessful marriage requires falling in love many times,
always with the same person.
-Germaine Greer.

Rendezvous with the mafia!!!

2006-06-11T12:54:00.000+05:30

Enjoyin some cool drink

The performers of the indian classical music programme.

I have found the time to blog after a long interval.I shall narrate to u the incidents since june 1.The kelkars(chinmays family) had arranged for a bus frome thane to pune.It was to leave at about 1:30 pm, but due to some problems we were an hour late.We were to pick up friends and relatives along the way.As we had to pickup the kulkarnis in panvel (kelkar,s family friends) , so we could not connect to the expressway before panvel and had to go into the city.We picked them up and made our way, but there was a hell lot of traffic.

After an hour in the traffic we finally got through it.Just then a group of ruffians got into our bus and stopped it.They claimed that our bus had scraped their car.They even called 15-20 goondas(mafia men) with lathis to beat the driver up.After half an hour of haggling and reasoning with them they accepted Rs.2000 and let us go.We had to give them our address and phone no.s.We were 3 hrs late to pune and the ladkiwaale feared that we might be backing out of the marriage.

We changed our clothes quickly after entered the hall and the bhattji(wedding maker)
started the ceremonies quickly.After the puja was over we had dinner and then their was a classical music program after that.It ended at !2:30 AM.Then we went to Sunanda Atyas flat nearby with Grandpa, Grandma and the Apte family.

Monsoon wedding

2006-05-31T20:50:00.000+05:30

i am really happy today as my iit class was cancelled today because of the rains.There was a power failure in our class premises as well as the locals had been cancelled.Since sir left us at bout 7:30 i could goto the mehndi ceremony at chinu's place.I had to walk through knee deep waters.This is the first bout of rains of this monsoon.lets c if july 26,05 repeats itself this year.tomorrow is the big day, and the day after is bigger even.We have to leave for pune(wedding venue) at 1 pm tomorrow.i am very exited.the rain finally seems to stop.
bye now i got to go.
over and out!!!

mixed emotions this morning

2006-05-31T11:36:00.000+05:30

My parents are a little disturbed today as our family friend Mr. Gogte's mother passed away last night.She was terminally ill with cancer.As Chinu my bro is gettin married on 2nd june there is lots of work to be done,therefore my parents are tensed and are arguing over small matters and scolding me unnecesarily.There is mehndi at my brothers place this evening.Mehndi is a traditional indian ceremony where only women are allowed to participate, the women apply henna to their hands and sing songs and all that.I dont really know since i havent been to one of these ceremonies.Mehndi= henna in hindi.So there is lot of exitement in our family and i am loving every bit of it!!!
well got to go,
Adwait.

my europe tour

2006-05-30T22:29:00.000+05:30

My Mom & Dad

Disneyland Parade (Alladin)

The British Parliament

View on top of the Eiffiel Tower

Devaki

i had gone to europe after the 10th grade.
We went along with kesari tours for a 22 day journey.It was really fun.My parents were very cooperative and didnt scold me much.i made a few friends in europe who also were on the tour.they are Smitesh Surana,devaki, akshata, and the kamat bro-sis.i liked switzerland the most.it was so beautiful and surreal.i also liked the eiffiel tower and madam tussads museum.the london eye was cool as well.u cant say i didnt enjoy life.i had never gone abroad before, so sitting in a plane and all that was very exiting.but i didnt show as if i were exited.
i want to meet my friends especially smitesh whom i miss very much.i also miss akshata who is very bubbly and innocent and devaki(shez 27-unmarried)very much.all of them were good company in europe.
i am ever grateful for my parents for taking me to europe and showing me such a beautiful part of the world at such an impressionable young age of 16!!!thanx mom and dad,surprisingly i never thanked them in person!!!what a mean person i must be??!!

friends- hard to find

2006-05-30T17:21:00.003+05:30

Nikhil Sirdesai.( The King of suicidal pjs)

Suvarna

Pai

Ankit & Choche

Bobby & pai

Nikhilesh

hi my real name's Adwait Deshpande.I dont know what it means. I have a few friends.I have classified them into building friends, school friends and college friends.My building friends are Mihir, rutwij, bittu, tarun, atul,balli,vishnu etc and some gals.My school friends are DP,mihir gawand (mihirs-zone.piczo.com),sagar and a few others.My most recent college friends are Ankit,shaurya, pai, nikhilesh,suvarna,reddy,choche, mitesh, bhanawat,sharan, kedar, nishant,himanshu, pratik, and many more.The girls in svpt, my college are a little boring and shy but what can be done, i dont know them well and i think they dont know me at all!!!these are some of my friends and although some are weird and bizzare i still want to b their friends, i hav many more but cant remember them just now???i hope atleast they read this blog.i have some friends in iit class too.(vidyalankar). we have a group called svptgroup.yahoogroups.com for my college friends.

farenheit, reservations oh too much!!!

2006-05-30T16:31:00.000+05:30

just saw farenheit 9/11 the other day.i was shocked.what has the world come to!!!!!we must raise this subject.it cannot go unnoticed.
nowadays there are a lot of protests regarding reservations in india.this is a complex issue and i would not like to comment on it lightly but i welcome your views and comments bout this reservations issue if u know of it,
c u bye.

lifes tough being a nerd

2006-05-30T16:07:00.000+05:30

hello,
i am a 17 year old boy from india.I'll be enterin the 12th grade soon.i am in the science stream and would be appearing for iit entrance exams so its a lot of study for me for a year.I will also have to appear for aieee and cet exams.i have scored 91.5% in my 10th boards and people call me a nerd. i am really confused as how to study as the portion for the exams is vast and i havent planned anything.
my brother chinu is gettin married on june 2nd.i met his fiancee and shes lovely. both of them are from iim- a.So no time to study huh.celebrations in my family.happy times.hope some1 reads this blog and helps me out.my life is very interesting, which you will know better gradually and plzzz dont mind the english, i laugh at it myself too!