As it IS. A journal by Adwait D

• No localite can enter any of the hostels at any time.
• Old hostel people cannot go into the new hostel and vice-versa.
• Munna Canteen closed at 10.
• Separate uniforms for new/old hostel students for identification.

# posted by Adwait Deshpande @ 11:02 AM 0 people give a damn links to this post

Big or small, Soft, Fluffy or Stiff, i like them. While here in India women aren't allowed to even show their faces to men outside their family, (probably because their ugly), women in North America are fighting it out to be topless in public places.

http://www.tera.ca/index.html

This is living proof of what I'm trying to say.

The next logical question that arises in my mind is, what if they win?

Well, if these women actually get laws made where they can go topless on the streets of North America, it would be beyond my wildest imagination. (And my imagination runs pretty wild, as some of you may know.)

Consequences of Toplessness-

• Boners anywhere, anytime for men of all ages, creeds, castes, religions and walks of life.
• No tan lines at all. Boobs of Gold literally!
• Closure of bra factories and lingerie models out of work.
• Road accidents.
• Textile mills would be shut down.
• Plastic surgeons becoming the next millionaires.
• People opting for plastic surgery courses instead of computer science.
• Happier people.
• No need for cardio in gyms, everytime u see a naked boob, your heart will go racing.

Huh...

Had to get that off my chest.. (oops!)

# posted by Adwait Deshpande @ 2:46 PM 0 people give a damn links to this post

• Even though you're going to a summer camp with your 11 year old brother and other such pre - adolescents, and you have no shame admitting it, (and you being a 19 yr old), you're still my friend.

• Even though you never made it to Churchgate (the railways kicked u out at marine lines, hahahaha), you're still my friend.

• Even though you're dating a toddler who eats cerelac and wears huggies, you're still my friend.

• Even though you're obsessed with a girl who dumped you thrice, and used you as a porter, courier boy, etc. for 39 years while dating other men, you're still my friend.

• Even though The Math fucked ur ass soooo hard, that you probably have a perforated ANUS, you're still my friend.

• Even though you Hit on every girl you lay your eyes upon, you're still my friend.

• Even though your backbone is crushed to a million little pieces, you're still my friend.

• Even though ur a MVP soccer superstar, and you didn't even get close to having a female WAG, (even though u shaved your mustache off), you're still my friend.

• Even though ur bald for all practical purposes and weigh about 350 pounds, you're still my friend.

• Even though u appear to be (and most probably are) a member of the gay community, through your words and actions, you're still my friend
  

# posted by Adwait Deshpande @ 7:12 PM 0 people give a damn links to this post

"From your first day at school you are cut off from life to make theories”

Taisen Deshimaru

# posted by Adwait Deshpande @ 10:10 PM 3 people give a damn links to this post

• Whenever they come near you, pretend that you are talking on the phone. (U cant do this every time.)
• Try to act as if you are in a hurry, or you remembered to do something important.
• Always say you have other plans, even if they maybe be to curl up on the sofa and watch T.V.

# posted by Adwait Deshpande @ 10:37 PM 0 people give a damn links to this post

• I will bath as less as possible and conserve more water.
• I will use more deodorant and do less laundry.
• I will not tell the same story at every get together.
• I will not embarress my friends in public places.
• I will not by-heart jokes and pass them of as my own.
• I will attend as many lectures as i can.
• I will not call people names, although they thoroughly deserve them.
• I will not call other people boring, although we all know they are.
• I will behave myself in all places.
• I will not swear in English. It is an insult to my mother-tongue which has the best abusers any language can have.
• I will not trouble little children playing arcade games.
• I will not call anyone "Gavwala", "Gavthi", etc. It hurts their feelings.
• I will not look down upon people who do not understand my jokes. (I know I'm gifted and everyone is not bestowed with that kind of wit)
• I will drive safely.
• I will not eat half eaten bananas put away for 3 days.
• I will not mock nerds.
• I will NOT go to lonavla.
• I will be happy and cheerful, and try to make everyone else happy and cheerful around me.

# posted by Adwait Deshpande @ 4:02 PM 0 people give a damn links to this post

Pt.Bhimsen Joshi

Pandit Bhimsen Joshi, who is riding the crest of popularity and has ridden it for the last several years, is a musical marvel. His singing invariably provides listeners with a divine musical ex- perinea. Many of his rivals admit, though unwillingly, that today there is no other vocalist comparable to him in the entire nation.

Bhimsen, who is now in his 60s, has attained proficiency and fame that astound the musical world. His voice, like that legendary philosopher's stone, turns every note into a golden one. Billions of notes that have received the golden touch of his voice have been freely showered by him on the teeming millions of his fans. His unswerving faith in an intense devo- tion to his guru have been his keys to success.

Bhimsen is a versatile singer; he is an expert in khayal singing but he is also adept in the presentation of thumris, songs from plays, or devotional compositions. His lilting thumris (Jadu bhareli, Piya ke milan ki aas or Babul mora) and his innumerable popular Abhangs composed by the saints of Maharashtra are instances in point.

• Padma Vibhushan in 1999
• Karnataka Ratna in 2005
• Padma Bhushan in 1985
• Padma Shree in 1972
• The Sangeet Natak Akademi Award in 1976
• First platinum disc in 1986
• Maharashtra Bhushan award by Govt. of Maharashtra

Bhimsen is a prodigy - unique - a divine miracle. We should admire his tremendous accomplishments in the realm of music, revel in the heavenly experience of his gayaki and pray to God Almighty to bless this musical genius with a long life. In the whole of India there is no one else who has atained so much and given so much to music lovers. Listeners in he U.S.A. and the U.K. love and admire him.

Stevie Wonder (born Stevland Hardaway Judkins on May 13, 1950, name later changed to Stevland Hardaway Morris)^[1] is an American singer-songwriter, multi-instrumentalist, and record producer. A prominent figure in popular music during the latter half of the 20th century , Wonder has recorded more than thirty top ten hits, won 26 Grammy Awards^[2] (a record for a solo artist), plus one for lifetime achievement, won an Academy Award for Best Song and been inducted into both the Rock and Roll and Songwriters halls of fame. He has also been awarded the Polar Music Prize.

Blind from infancy, Wonder signed with Motown Records as a pre-adolescent at age twelve, and continues to perform and record for the label to this day. He has ten U.S. number-one hits on the pop Charts, 20 U.S. R&B number one hits, and album sales totaling more than 150 million units. Wonder has recorded several critically acclaimed albums and hit singles, and writes and produces songs for many of his label mates and outside artists as well. Wonder plays the piano, synthesizer, harmonica, congas, drums, bongos, organ, melodica, and clavinet. In his early career, he was best known for his harmonica work, but today he is better known for his keyboard skills and vocal ability.

Billy Joel

The son of a German-Jewish Holocaust survivor but raised as a Roman Catholic in a middle-class suburb on Long Island, New York, Joel was steered toward classical music by his parents and began piano lessons at age 4. At age 14, enamoured of the British Invasion and soul music, he began playing in bands. With the Hassels, he recorded two albums in the late 1960s, and a stint in the heavy metal duo Attila followed.

In 1971, recast as a singer-songwriter, Joel recorded the poorly produced Cold Spring Harbor for Family Productions, which locked him into an exploitative long-term contract. Seeking refuge in Los Angeles, he performed under a pseudonym in a local piano bar. Meanwhile, a live recording of Joel's song “Captain Jack” caught the attention of Columbia Records executives, who extricated him from his contract. His first album for Columbia, Piano Man (1973), featured a hit single of the same name; based on his piano bar experience, it became his signature song. Mixtures of soul, pop, and rock, Piano Man and Joel's subsequent albums—Streetlife Serenade (1974) and Turnstiles (1976)—earned praise from critics and set the stage for The Stranger (1977). Featuring four U.S. hit singles (one of which, “Just the Way You Are,” won Grammy Awards for song of the year and record of the year), it sold five million copies, surpassing Simon and Garfunkel's Bridge Over Troubled Water to become Columbia's best-selling album to date.

Joel's string of hit-producing, award-winning platinum albums continued with 52nd Street (1979), Glass Houses (1980), and The Nylon Curtain (1982). On the last, Joel, whose lyrics had previously dealt primarily with romance and slices of life, introduced his first socially conscious songs, “Allentown” and “Goodnight Saigon” (about unemployed steel workers and Vietnam War veterans, respectively). In the early 1980s Joel was among the first established rock performers to make music videos. During this period he married supermodel Christie Brinkley (his second marriage; they later divorced). From An Innocent Man (1983), his tribute to his doo-wop and vocal group influences, through Storm Front (1989) and River of Dreams (1993), Joel continued to produce well-received albums. In 1999 he was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

Michael Jackson

Michael Joseph Jackson (born August 29, 1958) is an American musician, entertainer and businessman. The seventh child of the Jackson family, he debuted on the professional music scene at the age of 11 as a member of The Jackson 5 and began a solo career in 1971 while still a member of the group. Referred to as the "King of Pop" in subsequent years, five of his solo studio albums have become some of the world's best-selling records: Off the Wall (1979), Thriller (1982), Bad (1987), Dangerous (1991) and HIStory (1995).

In the early 1980s, he became a dominant figure in popular music and the first African-American entertainer to amass a strong crossover following on MTV. The popularity of his music videos airing on MTV, such as "Beat It", "Billie Jean" and Thriller—credited for transforming the music video into an art form and a promotional tool—helped bring the relatively new channel to fame. Videos such as "Black or White" and "Scream" kept Jackson as a staple on MTV into the 1990s. With stage performances and music videos, Jackson popularized a number of physically complicated dance techniques, such as the robot and the moonwalk. His distinctive musical sound and vocal style influenced numerous hip hop, pop and contemporary R&B artists.

Jackson has donated and raised millions of dollars for beneficial causes through his Dangerous World Tour, charity singles and support of 39 charities. However, other aspects of his personal life—including his changing appearance and eccentric behavior—generated significant controversy which damaged his public image. He was accused of child sexual abuse in 1993, the criminal investigation was closed due to lack of evidence and Jackson was not charged. He then married twice and fathered three children, all of which caused further controversy. The singer has experienced health concerns since the early 1990s and conflicting reports regarding the state of his finances since the late 1990s. In 2005, Jackson was tried and acquitted of further sexual abuse allegations and several other charges.

One of the few artists to have been inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame twice, his other achievements include multiple Guinness World Records—including one for Thriller as the world's best-selling album—13 Grammy Awards, 13 number one singles in his solo career—more than any other male artist in the Hot 100 era—and the sale of over 750 million units worldwide. Jackson's highly publicized personal life, coupled with his successful career, has made him a part of popular culture for almost four decades. In recent years he has been cited as one of the world's most famous men.

Bing Crosby

Harry Lillis “Bing” Crosby (May 3, 1903 – October 14, 1977) was an Academy Award winning American popular singer and actor whose career lasted from 1926 until his death.

One of the first multimedia stars, from 1934 to 1954 Bing Crosby held a nearly unrivaled command of record sales, radio ratings, and motion picture grosses.^[1] He is cited among the most popular musical acts in history and is currently the most electronically recorded human voice in history. ^[2] Crosby is also credited as being the major inspiration for most of the male singers of the era that followed him, including Frank Sinatra, Perry Como, and Dean Martin. Yank magazine recognized Crosby as the person who had done the most for American G.I. morale during World War II and, during his peak years, around 1948, polls declared him the "most admired man alive," ahead of Jackie Robinson and Pope Pius XII.^[1][3] Also during 1948, the Music Digest estimated that Crosby recordings filled more than half of the 80,000 weekly hours allocated to recorded radio music.^[3] Clarinetist Artie Shaw described Crosby as "the first hip white person born in the United States."^[4]

Crosby exerted an important influence on the development of the postwar recording industry. In 1947, he invested US$50,000 in the Ampex company, which developed the world's first commercial reel-to-reel tape recorder, and Crosby became the first performer to pre-record his radio shows and master his commercial recordings on magnetic tape. He gave one of the first Ampex Model 200 recorders to his friend, musician Les Paul, which led directly to Paul's invention of multitrack recording. Along with Frank Sinatra, he was one of the principal backers behind the famous United Western Recorders studio complex in Los Angeles.^[5]

In 1962, Crosby was the first person to receive the Grammy Lifetime Achievement Award.^[6]

Crosby is one of the few people to have three stars on the walk of of fame.

# posted by Adwait Deshpande @ 10:28 PM 0 people give a damn links to this post

• There are more officials than sportsmen at international events.
• The officials have all the luxuries while the players have to share non ac rooms, toilets and even sportswear.
• This country lacks basic infrastructure required for sports.
• Bribing, Red tape, bureacracy and all that bullshit.
• Indians have bad Genes. They dont make good athletes.
• Indians cant get over cricket.
• Racism, Casteism, and regionalism amongst selectors.
• Plain apathy

# posted by Adwait Deshpande @ 5:26 PM 0 people give a damn links to this post

This is an essay i wrote in the 7th standard on a topic called "The Lost Puppy". You can see that i was very talented from a very early age. I have split the essay up into separate sentences so that you can marvel at its beauty and also analyze my writing pattern. One rarely gets to read and learn from the early, unpublished works of a leading literary genius(me). But I know you will enjoy this one.

Recess. All the calm the kids kept during school was let out with squeals, screams and running wildly about.

We went out to the playground. I watched in disgust as Aditi took a big bite out of her idli sambar which dropped on her shirt, her skirt and the floor.

Suddenly I hear a little wine and a big whale coming from behind the slide.

We saw a dog that looked South Indian. He was so dehydrated that he gained five pounds when I spit on him. It was a black and brown pit bull with fluffy white ears.

The dog was so skinny he couldn't put anything in his rib cage.

His head was the size of a cauldron. The first word that came to mind was Hydrocephalous.

Fear now filled my body as I saw it. It was more horrible than Shalu Aunty.

The next moment it was jumping on us and licking on our feces. He was so excited he jumped up and down and leaked on us.

Rite away I knew it was a boy because of what it did to Sunita.

We also could tell it was boy because the boy has bigger eyes than the girl.

I thought he was going to lick my friend to death but the teacher pulled it off in time.

We were astounded with amazement.

I smuggled the dog into the school. After we fed him, the puppy used the bathroom in my book bag.

The teacher looked at the dog's foot. It looked as if it were hurt so she banged it up.

We took the dog to the vet and we found out the dog had an upper suppository infection.

Then we took a picture of him and blew him up and hung him on some poles.

We hung his pitcher, my member and my address.

We hung the flyer on the telephone pole but it flew away.

We didn't name the dog because we didn't think it would come when it was called, anyway.

When I was in school the dog got lonely and barfed.

After it had grown up we let it go free. And the first out the yard it got a date.

One day it got into a fight with another dog. After it was over, the other dog's owner took him to the veterinarian to get a prosthetic ear.

# posted by Adwait Deshpande @ 7:01 PM 0 people give a damn links to this post

• It has no sex or violence whatsoever, which cinema is all about.
• The Hero is kinda GAY.
• The Hero has no hair on his chest/back which is not possible for any REAL Indian man.
• The Item's (heroine) Hindi accent sucks.
• Nothing actually happens in the movie.
• The Comedy isn't Subtle AT ALL. (You maybe surprised, but thats true)
• The Potrait Talking thing has been done a million times before.
• Comedy sucks.
• Comedy sucks BIG time.
• The Khan brothers are disgusting. They cant act for chrissake!
• The ending is typically BOLLYWOOD

# posted by Adwait Deshpande @ 7:15 PM 0 people give a damn links to this post

This shop is on the way from kabootar-khana(dadar east) to the portugese church.
Really, I Bet you.

• Would we be here if it wasn't for a hole?
• Can such a thing ever be sold? (its invaluable)
• Who would be noble enough to selflessly spread so much joy amongst mankind and some womankind too? (its this shop)
• Wouldn't it be the end of the line for us without holes?
• Will not a hole-less world drive us crazy?
• Don't we just love POLO?(a mint with a hole; it lowers your sperm count though)
• Why do we always underestimate the power of black holes?(I've got one and its far more powerful than a nuclear weapon)
• NO GOLF and CARROM and POOL, etc. Ever.
  

# posted by Adwait Deshpande @ 9:51 PM 0 people give a damn links to this post